The Oppressive Puppet Master

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth~ 1^st John 1:4-6 NIV

Not long ago, I sat in the Sunday morning church service, far less tuned into the sermon than I should have been. The previous week had been a killer and the next one was looking like it could be every bit as nerve-wracking. I was busy pondering survival strategies for the coming week.

 I might have been inclined to pay more careful attention if the sermon had been about something other than forgiveness. It’s not that I’ve never grappled with an unforgiving spirit. I have, more times than I care to admit.

However, right at that moment there was no one I needed to forgive. So, rightly or wrongly I felt entitled to check out a little bit.

 And then my Pastor, Jerry Trewern said something so insightful and thought provoking that it broke through my self-absorbed musings, and caused my imagination to run wild.

 Three little words…

Unforgiveness is unforgiving.

The inside of my head can be a rather peculiar place and something about his statement caused me think about the topic of unforgiveness in a whole new way.

I have always viewed forgiveness as simply a choice that we make. A hard choice at times—still, only a choice. That morning I imagined unforgiveness as a living, breathing sentient being; a tyrannical, oppressive, puppet master that holds people captive to its will.

I haven’t been able to get that picture out of my head.

Unforgiveness is unforgiving, relentless and brutal. Unforgiveness is the fertile ground that sows seeds of bitterness and even hate. Once unforgiveness is permitted a foothold, it has a tendency to take over and negatively color the way we see everything and everyone. It inadvertently determines how we treat people, including those who aren’t responsible for causing us pain.

Forgiveness is more than just a choice we make; ultimately it’s a choice that makes us.

An unforgiving spirit becomes a cage holding us captive to bad experiences, effectively tethering our hearts to the past. Bondage to past trauma or hurt makes it nearly impossible to move forward emotionally or spiritually and ultimately entices us to sin in other areas of our lives.

We know we are being held hostage by the evil taskmaster of unforgiveness when…

We spend way too much time thinking about the people who have wronged us

We habitually fantasize about vengeance   

We have a tough time believing the best in people

We have a hard time imagining that God is for us

We tend to view forgiveness as a gift we choose to give God views forgiveness as a prerequisite for growth, blessing and freedom.

Abolishing the evil puppet master begins with the recognition that we are all unworthy recipients of God’s grace and mercy. In order to forgive others we have to grasp the reality that our sins against God are at least as great as any sin that has been committed against us. This awareness gives us the incentive we need to become givers as well as receivers of grace and mercy.

The next step is to release the debt. Let it go and move on. Forget about it to the best of your ability. Give up the right to exact revenge. Letting go is never easy because it goes against the grain of our fallen human nature. Expect it to be a process that takes time.

It does not matter whether or not the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. They probably don’t. Forgiveness is not about them; it’s about you.

It’s about you being free.

 Free from bitterness, free from hatred, free from negative thoughts and feelings that consume your time, energy and spiritual strength.

When we are finally free from the oppressive fiend of unforgiveness we are free to be what God intended us to be: a source of refreshment and blessing for others.

 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins~ 1^st Colossians 1:13-14

When Life Isn't Fair...

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles~ Psalm 34:7

I recall with perfect clarity the first time I grasped just how unfair life could be.

 I was thirteen and my brother Charley was eleven. Charley was given permission to ride the city bus downtown to see a movie with his friends. The next week I asked if I could do the same thing and was told no. I of course demanded to know why my younger brother was allowed to do something I wasn’t.

After much explanation (on my Mother’s part) and debate (on my part) my exasperated and exhausted Mother ended the conversation abruptly with….

“Let it go, Lisa. Things are just different for girls”.

I get it now. I have two daughters and I understand that, unfair as it may seem to treat boys and girls differently, things really are different for girls. There are plenty of creepy people running around who would be more than eager to take advantage of a young girl, especially one who is all by herself.  

Unfairness presents itself in many forms. Sometimes it’s learning the gloomy truth that boys and girls really are different. Sometimes it’s much more painful and life impacting. Like when we learn we have been….

Lied to by someone we trusted

Passed over for an opportunity

Slandered by a friend or co-worker  

Misunderstood by someone who should have known better

Cheated on

The victim of someone else’s jealousy

Unfairness and injustice can cause us to become angry and cynical. Anger and cynicism, left unchecked, provide fertile ground for the development of the bitter roots we are admonished to avoid at all costs in Hebrews 10:36. Unfair scenarios that trigger the development bitter roots are sure to come into our lives. How we respond to these situations will make or break us as Christians.

 In 1^st Samuel 25 David was at the end of what he could handle. Life had been unfair to David for a very long time.

It all started when David received the seemingly good news that he would be the future Monarch of Israel. King Saul caught wind of God’s plan and unleashed the full force of his jealousy and wrath on David. David spent the next two decades struggling to stay alive long enough to see the prophecy fulfilled.

Fugitives from crazy Kings need to make a living too. In 1^st Samuel 25 David found a way to put food on the table. During sheep shearing season David and his men would keep ranchers’ sheep secure from marauding bandits. In return, the ranchers would provide food and other goods for David and his men. It was an effective and lucrative system until David met a nasty man named Nabal who refused to pay for services rendered.

David, overwhelmed by the unfairness and injustice he had suffered, lost control and vowed to all within earshot…

“May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to Nabal!”

After years of being treated unfairly, something within David broke and he gave into the temptation that all victims of unfairness face eventually. He became unfair and unreasonable in the way he treated others.

It’s reasonable to say that Nabal desperately needed to be schooled on the subjects of integrity and respect. Murdering every male on Nabal’s property regardless of guilt or innocence is not the type of schooling God likes to see His people hand out.

Then along came Nabal’s wife, Abigail, who reminded David of some truths that we all need to hear from time to time. Abigail reminded David that…

Foolish and cruel people should not be allowed to change who we are

The sin of one evil person does not excuse our own

There are harsh consequences for the choices we make in anger

God has a way of making things fair in the long run

 Abigail wanted David to understand that when we reach that awful place where we have been treated so unfairly we feel inclined to sin or seek revenge, we are quite likely nearing the end of our trial. Better and brighter days are right around the corner. The trick for all of us is to keep our eyes on God and His goodness rather than our own misery long enough to see God’s plan come to fruition in our lives.

As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy~ James 5:11 NIV

Working Through the Pain of Waiting

 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord~ Psalm 27:4  

The warm weather in Tucson during the winter months causes the population to explode from October thru April. People come from all over North America to escape icy road conditions, puffy coats and close relationships with their snow shovels.

The fleeting population boom is a godsend for business owners. They adore the snowbirds and the money they bring to our area. My husband so looks forward to the increase in sales that in early November he prays fervently for blizzards on the East Coast. Judging from the weather reports this past winter, we can all safely assume my husband is praying some powerful prayers these days.

For those of us who don’t own or manage a business, the increase in population is far less thrilling.

 As the population surges, everything takes longer. Traffic becomes a daily drama. There are more people, and the people don’t always know where they are going or how to get there. So a ten-minute commute transforms into twenty on most days. The wait time at restaurants doubles, and you can forget about running in and out of the grocery store or the doctor’s office.

Waiting patiently has never really been my thing. For a long time one of my favorite phrases was…

“Can’t you just hurry up already”?

When my young children began repeating that phrase to one another I came under some heavy conviction. I recognized that I had some pretty ugly entitlement issues when it came to getting things in what I saw as a timely manner.

After some prayer, I began the process of forcing myself to behave in a way that was patient and gracious whenever I had to wait in a long line, or for my turn at something I felt I shouldn’t have to wait for. Eventually acting patient and gracious morphed into (usually) feeling patient and gracious.

I am now enough of a grown-up that waiting on the small stuff doesn’t get to me like it used to. I can (usually) endure having to wait through three green lights to make my turn or a forty-minute wait at my favorite restaurant with a measure of civility and grace.

 Recently, I have begun to wonder if God thinks I could still use some tweaking in this area.  I have found myself waiting for what feels like a really long time for some big prayers to be answered.

 Waiting is hard. Whether we are waiting for a long awaited answer to prayer, a much-needed change of circumstance or for another person to have a change of heart, waiting is never easy. The delay I’ve experienced is teaching me to wait like a spiritual grown-up. Opening myself up to this process has helped me see waiting in a new light.

In John chapter eleven Jesus receives the news that his friend Lazarus is critically ill. Jesus does the opposite of what we would expect Him to do upon hearing the news that His friend is terminally ill. He waits. Then He waits some more, and then He waits some more. Jesus waits two full days before taking any sort of action on Lazarus’ behalf.

On the surface Jesus’ deliberate dawdling seems mean, almost malevolent. Jesus possessed the power to change Lazarus’ situation as quickly as He chose to. He could have healed Lazarus from a distance if He wanted. He had done it before, but He chose not to.

The words of some onlookers at Lazarus’ graveside reflect our own feelings of frustration at times…

Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying? John 11:37 NIV

What no one but Jesus knew at the time is that Jesus’ decision to wait rather than act immediately was actually a sign of His favor on Lazarus and his sisters. Jesus chose to reveal His glory to and through this family in a way that no one before or since has experienced. Their temporary pain at having to wait for something that seemed essential to them became a story that has brought millions to faith in the God they loved.

 It seems to me that God must have been doing some work in the hearts of Mary and Martha during the four days they waited for Jesus to show up. Those four days of waiting must have felt like hell on earth, but they were really a refining process. The family learned to accept God on His terms rather than their own. It was something they needed to learn to prepare them for the next thing God had for them.

Rather than a punishment, waiting is sometimes a sign of God planning something bigger or better for us. Other times waiting is part of a refining process. The wait time is an indicator God’s desire to something in or through you that can only be done with the passing of time. 

I am learning that waiting like a grown-up means holding on to hope and walking in faith. It means believing that God is good and is working out His purposes as we wait on Him.  I am learning that waiting can be a difficult but necessary refining process that will prepare us for the next thing—if we let the process do its work.

But I pray to you, Lord, in the time of your favor; in your great love, O God, answer me with your sure salvation~ Psalm 69:13 

Too Much

Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it~ 1^st Timothy 6:6-7

Until a few years ago, I would have described myself as someone who was generally pretty content with my lot in life. Then I did something that forced me to reevaluate the way I see myself. 

 I went shopping for a flat screen TV. I learned that I covet really big televisions.

  My husband was a little surprised to see his typically cautious, controlled wife become a matierlistic monster over something as trivial as a TV set. He was a really good sport about the whole thing until I began eyeing the eighty-inch models. He then politely pointed out that even if we could afford an eighty-inch TV, we didn’t have the wall space for it.

That experience taught me that there is something within all of us—no matter how content and controlled we think we are—that naturally gravitates towards excess and extravagance.

Some of the axioms that have become a part of our common cultural vocabulary do a pretty decent job of proving my point…

More is more.  

You can have it all!  

Bigger is better!  

You can never be too rich or too thin.  

He who dies with the most toys wins.

Sadly, none of the above sayings prove themselves to be true in light of real-life experiences….  

Oodles of lottery winners will tell you that sometimes more is just more trouble. There are some who thought they had it all, and discovered too late that they lost something precious to get it all.  If you have ever known someone trapped in the living hell of an eating disorder you know firsthand that it is possible be too thin. Bigger is not better if we’re discussing debt-to-income ratios with a banker, and he who dies with the most toys still dies.

 There is such a thing as too much. The Bible is packed with warnings regarding the perils of too much…

Talk~ Proverbs 20:19

Wine~ Proverbs 23:20

Pursuit of wealth~ Proverbs 23:4, Luke 12:15  

Self-confidence~ Psalms 36:2

Rich food~ Proverbs 23:19

Rest and relaxation~ Proverbs 24:32-34

Visiting~ Proverbs 25:17

Introspection and navel gazing ~ Proverbs 25:27

All of us naturally gravitate toward too much of something. For me it’s big screen televisions that lead to big bills and overindulgence in entertainment. For others, it’s conversation and corn dogs.

 Spiritual victory is about training ourselves to want more of the right things and less of the wrong ones. There are things we can never have too much of...

Peace~ Psalm 34:14, 2^nd Timothy 2:22, Hebrews 12:14 

Wisdom~ Proverbs 3:13, Proverbs 4:6, Proverbs 9:10, James 1:5

Righteousness~ Psalm 33:5, Proverbs 11:14, Romans 6:13, James 3:18  

Peace, wisdom and righteousness are superior to corn dogs and flat-screen TVs. Sadly, in this life better things are always harder to obtain and sustain. It takes no intentionality at all to be captured by too much of the wrong things. It’s in our DNA to embrace the stuff of life that ensnares our souls and sets us on the road to ruin. God cautions us against excess because too much feels good to our fleshly nature. Too much of anything that appeals to our carnal side steals our desire for the better things that God wants to give us and the joy that goes along with those better things.

It takes a deliberate effort on our part to develop a craving for the peace, wisdom and righteousness that God so desperately wants to see developed in His people. The effort begins with making the deliberate choice to let go of anything that is threatening to become too much in our lives.