Four Keys to Achieving Christian Significance~

 And in every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king inquired of them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters that were in all his kingdom~ Daniel 1:20

All people in all places dream dreams of greatness. It is part of being human. It starts early. Every little boy longs to be a superhero and what little girl hasn’t fantasized about changing the world or becoming a princess?  As we mature our dreams evolve but we still dream. Some dream of athletic prowess or scientific achievement. Others are enchanted by fantasies of wealth achieved through business acumen. Some long for the prestige attained through educational accomplishments. The particulars of our dreams may differ, but we all dream.

 Christians also dream of significance, but for us significance has an altogether different meaning. Greatness for a believer is focused on God rather than us. We believe that true significance is about taking all of our abilities and talents and using them in such a way that God says to us on the Day of Judgment:

“Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness! ~ Matthew 25:21”

Accomplishing the goal of true Christian significance is complicated by the times we live in. Becoming a “good and faithful servant” demands that we live squarely within our culture so we can affect it, change destinies, and make disciples—while at the same time managing to live above it, so that it doesn’t affect us (John 17:15). Unfortunately, Western culture is filled with many charms and distractions that almost beg us to dive headlong into the fray of 21^st century life.

This morning I opened my Bible to Daniel chapter one and was struck by the similarities of the Babylonian culture to ours. Both were powerful and steeped in the kind of excess that can entice a person to indulge in every urge and impulse.  But somehow Daniel managed to live above the culture he was thrust into.  

As I was reading, I noted that Daniel lived purposefully in Babylon, involving himself in their society in a significant way but never really becoming acclimated to the ways of Babylonians. Daniel’s decision to live intentionally enabled him to impact his culture powerfully. He successfully presented the truth of the living God to four Pagan Kings and in the process he become the kind of man in which God confides his plans (Psalm 25:14). Daniel did four things in Daniel chapter one that set the stage for his success.  

 Fear of the Lord was the motivating stimulus for every choice he made~ Proverbs 1:7, Hebrews 12:28-29

Not once in Daniel chapter one does it explicitly say that Daniel feared God, but all of his actions imply that he is operating out of reverence for God. Fear of the Lord is one of the most misunderstood concepts in Christianity. It’s not about feeling constant distress or anxiety, nor is it simply respecting God. People who fear God live life carefully. Fearing God means that we live in such a way that our actions and words acknowledge God’s existence as well as the power He has to bring consequences into our lives in the event that we intentionally overstep the boundaries. Men and women who fear God hate sin and do everything within their power to avoid premeditated sin.

He treated all people with respect and kindness~ Colossians 4:5-6

Daniel understood that there is nothing less attractive than a religious person stridently demanding their rights. With God’s assistance and empowering grace Daniel managed to rise above the ugliness of his situation, which included the horrors of abduction, castration, and forced labor. He did this by approaching everyone he came into contact with an attitude of respect and kindness.  The story of Daniel illustrates that there are times when believers should stand up for their rights (especially if they happen to live in a democracy) but they should do it in a way that is as respectful and gracious as the situation will allow.

He used his gifts and talents to benefit people~ Hebrews 10:24

Daniel lived and worked in Babylon for 70 years, always doing his best to bring about righteousness in a hostile culture. Daniel understood that believers are commanded to live in such a way that they benefit any society in which they find themselves (Jeremiah 29:1-8).  Daniel’s willingness to do good to those who persecuted him earned him esteem and opportunities to speak on God’s behalf.

He intentionally distanced himself from the excesses of the times~ 1^st Corinthians 10:22-24

I do not believe that God would have faulted Daniel for eating the food that was offered by Nebuchadnezzar; after all, he was a captive in a foreign land and he had to eat. The word “resolved” used in verse eight suggests that Daniel was making a mindful choice that was not born out of guilt or fear but rather conviction that avoiding the food was the most prudent course of action. Daniel and his friends chose to abstain from the food because they understood that it was a symbol of a culture addicted to extremes.  They knew that if they indulged themselves in the excesses of that culture they could easily become ensnared by those luxuries and addicted to the extravagances. The pursuit of those luxuries would then become the driving force in their lives. If that had happened they would have been left powerless to impact Babylonian culture for God. Daniel 1:17 reveals that God bestowed gifts of wisdom on Daniel and his friends because of their willingness to voluntarily abstain from the cultural excess. 

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Every Christian I know longs to hear the words “Well done, good and faithful servant” as they enter eternity. It is not always easy to live that kind of life, especially when the society we live in constantly summons us to compromise our values and indulge our flesh. Daniel stands as a model for us all. His life demonstrates that it is possible to live in a culture of decadence and impact individuals for Christ. He truly understood the meaning of Robert Cody’s words: “Have the courage to live as you should, anyone can die.”

In order to live as we should, we must live lives that exhibit a fear of God, deep concern for the health and well-being of others and a strong willingness to place limits on personal pleasure-seeking. I believe that as we endeavor to live like Daniel, God will empower us as he empowered Daniel to use our gifts and talents in such a way that will draw men and women to Himself.

 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him~ Colossians 3:17

Don't Get too Comfortable...

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect~ Romans 12:2 ESV

I have lived most of my life living in cooler climates, including Washington, Alaska, Oregon and Wyoming.  Despite a few brief stints in warmer places (North Carolina, South Carolina, New Mexico, and Utah), I prefer locales where the temperature rarely gets above ninety degrees. I would much rather be cold than hot; after all you can always put clothes on, but there is a limit to how many you can take off (for most people at least).  Sunny with a high of seventy-five has always been my idea of a perfect day. 

I was recently surprised to discover that I have acclimated to the desert environment of Arizona. Last week Alan and I were out running errands. It was late afternoon when we left the house and about ninety-five degrees. By the time we finished up our last errand it was early evening and the sun had gone down. As we walked to the car I was stunned to discover that I was cold, so cold my teeth were chattering. I was shocked when I got to the car and the thermostat in the car read seventy-three.

It got me thinking about how adaptable most of us are. God has graciously and lovingly shaped us in such a way that sooner or later most of us find a way to acclimate to almost any situation or environment we find ourselves in. Most of the time this adaptability is beneficial and protective. It keeps us from becoming completely miserable and losing hope in situations that are beyond our control to change.  

Sadly, this adaptability has a dark side, especially when it comes to the cultural and spiritual realm. Just as people can easily adapt to changes in their physical surroundings, they can also adapt to slow incremental changes in their cultural and/or spiritual environment and unconsciously begin to take on the characteristics of the society around them.

I have observed that there are some subtle indicators that culture—especially popular culture—has infiltrated the church, changing not just the way we view the world but also affecting the way we “do church” and interact with unbelievers. 

Please understand it is not my intention to “bash” the church. That is both pointless and unproductive. My intent is simply to provide some food for thought and perhaps get a conversation started concerning the Church’s role in society. Today I will share three ways we have become acclimated to popular culture and a few things we can do to combat the intrusion of popular culture in our homes and churches.

We’ve accepted style over substance when it comes to leadership~ 1^st Timothy 3:1-5

It’s difficult for a reasonable person to dispute the argument that political and corporate leadership is in trouble in America. This is because we tend to choose our leaders based on outward appearances and qualifications: looks, political and professional connectedness, personal charisma, whether or not they own an iPad, and education level are far more important than integrity, experience, personal convictions, track record or willingness to tell the truth about tough issues. This has been a sad reality in secular culture since the dawn of the television age.

I fear that the same standards for leadership are sneaking into the church world. Like most secular organizations many churches have become more numbers-and-results driven so churches seek leaders that can draw a crowd and keep the crowd coming. The spiritual state of the crowd is rarely evaluated. When the size of the congregation is the motivating force in decision-making, leaders are chosen based on the same criteria we use to pick political leaders. The danger of choosing leaders based on outward criteria rather than proven character is that some of those leaders will be willing to bend and modify their values and convictions based on what continues to draw a big crowd (Rob Bell, anyone?).  There is nothing wrong or sinful about having a big crowd as long as the crowd has gathered for the right reasons and is growing towards individual and corporate Christ-likeness.

 We are awed by celebrity~ 1^st Corinthians 1:27

It is no secret that that popular culture is star-struck. Celebrities who do little but pretend for a living are venerated and given opportunities to share their feebly formed, unschooled opinions about everything from politics to science without anyone fact-checking them on anything.  Unfortunately, the church has demonstrated a similar inclination in recent years. Not only are we interested in turning our leaders into celebrities, we are also quick to put the spotlight on and take spiritual instruction from any  “new believer” who has come out of the entertainment industry. We do this long before they have an opportunity to prove themselves faithful or become properly grounded in the faith. The saddest aspect of this inclination is how much it hurts the celebrities themselves. 1^st Timothy 3:5-7 warns Christians not to put new converts in positions of authority or leadership because it causes them to become “puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation (judgment) of the devil”.

We have become numb to inappropriate entertainment~ Psalm 119:37

Standards have changed dramatically in recent years. In the not-so-distant past it was considered sinful for Christians to attend movies or watch any sort of secular entertainment. That standard was based on legalism, and I for one am thankful that most Christians have moved beyond such knee-jerk thinking. Sadly, the pendulum has swung a bit too dramatically in the opposite direction. Many Christians give little attention to what they watch or listen to. I confess that I have been guilty of this myself. I think it’s because many programs start out benignly enough; the writers don’t introduce the really shady stuff until the viewers are too hooked by the storyline to notice that every episode is filled with glorification of the same sort of perversions that Jesus came to save us from.

 Studies have shown that entertainment choices affect behavior; one study proved that young adults who watched sexual programing were much more likely to have permissive attitudes towards sex than those who do not. It’s sensible to assume it’s not just young adults who are adversely affected by such programing.

I don’t know if I have solutions to these problems, but I do have some suggestions. First, we can intentionally seek out leaders who meet the biblical standards for leadership found in 1^st Timothy chapter three and Titus chapter two, rather than simply trying to figure out if they can successfully put butts in the seats on Sunday mornings. This will mean looking for men and women old enough to have acquired some wisdom and life experience who are also willing to engage and mentor younger leaders.

 Secondly, as individuals we can stop deceiving ourselves about why we consume popular culture. One of the shams we’ve bought into is that we have to be well versed in popular culture to reach our world for Christ. Being able to sing along to Lil’ Wayne on the radio and knowing all the characters from The Office does not make us more holy or better witnesses of Christian truth; it just makes us more worldly.

 We must remember that just because something is witty or clever does not mean that it is suitable or beneficial (1^st Corinthians 10:23). Many Christians have found that taking a substantial break from secular music, books, movies and television makes them much more aware of what they are consuming. When we are more aware of our consumption we become less enamored with celebrity. Being less enamored empowers us to think more clearly about what exactly those celebrities are peddling.

 Another benefit to distancing ourselves from popular culture is that it will give us time and opportunities to develop ourselves spiritually. Developing spiritual strength will help us to become more discerning, and discernment will empower us to change culture rather than simply adapt to it.  

What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us~ 1^st Corinthians 2:12

Satan's Useful Idiots

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour~ 1^st Peter 5:8

Recently I had a conversation with a friend who was in need of some advice. She was having some relational problems in her family that had stemmed from a misunderstanding over some poorly spoken words. She was making efforts to repair the relationship but had discovered that a third party (a professed Christian) had gotten involved in the situation, repeating some things that had been said in confidence as well as exaggerating some other things that were said to the point of dishonesty. This person’s actions were literally tearing the family apart and making it nearly impossible for my friend to get things worked out.

She was understandably exasperated with the situation, partially due to the obvious but also because she felt that the third party who had gotten mixed up in the mess had no idea exactly how much trouble they were causing with their careless actions. At one point when the conversation devolved into a bit of a rant, she made a statement that was so funny and insightful that I had to ask permission to share it because it was so perceptive. She said: “I feel like this person is one of Satan’s useful idiots”. 

A “useful idiot” is a slang term sometimes used in place of “unwitting accomplice.” An unwitting accomplice is a person who participates in a crime unintentionally—usually because the criminal tricked them into participating in the crime. Sometimes the unwitting accomplice is duped into believing that they are actually doing a good deed as they help the criminal break the law.

My friends’ statement was insightful because of the way that the Bible describes the devil.  Job depicts Satan as roaming the earth looking for trouble and 1^st Peter 5:8 describes Satan as one who prowls around looking for someone to devour. Ephesians 6:11 and John 10:10 can be summed up by saying that the devil is constantly scheming up ways to wreck havoc on the lives of all people, especially God’s people.

Two things occurred to me as I was thinking about my friend’s situation; first, the devil’s ambition is enormous. I can see how it would be helpful to recruit some useful idiots, people whom unwittingly help the enemy to stir up trouble.  

My second thought was more disturbing: How many times have I been a useful idiot? I wondered how often I had played the part of the third party in my friend’s predicament, stirring the pot and inadvertently helping the devil create pain and chaos.

My friends story demonstrates it’s not just unbelievers who unwittingly do the devils work. Christians can at times be guilty of helping the enemy steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). There are at least five ways Christians can act as unwitting accomplices to the devils schemes.  

When we fail to get all the facts~ Proverbs 14:15

Unfortunately, it’s easy to fall into the trap of supposing that all of our assumptions concerning people and situations are accurate. The truth is that things are rarely the way they appear and there are two sides to every story.  We become unwitting accomplices to the devil’s schemes when we believe everything we hear or make assumptions based on first impressions or limited understanding of situations. Wise people look beyond first impressions and go to the source to ask questions when a person’s character or deportment is in doubt. Most of the time people are waiting for an opportunity to tell their side of things.  According to Proverbs 14:15 it is a sign of simple-mindedness to believe everything you hear or take everything at face value.  

When we involve ourselves in situations that are none of our concern~ Proverbs 26:17

There is nothing wrong with listening to a hurting friend or giving counsel to someone who is seeking it. We cross a line when we allow ourselves to become a middleman between quarreling parties. It is never okay to repeat something we were told in confidence and quarreling parties should always be encouraged to work things out between themselves or with a pastor or counselor. Be wary of any “friend” who is a little too eager to involve themselves in your private family affairs; they are most likely one of Satan’s useful idiots. The writer of Proverbs observes that most relational issues take care of themselves as long as third parties stay out of the way (Proverbs 26:20-22).

When we refuse to forgive~ Hebrews 12:15

Lack of forgiveness, if allowed to fester, leads to bitterness. When bitterness takes root in our hearts it colors the way we see the world and if not dealt with can become a corrupting and defiling influence in our lives that negatively affects those that we love. We all have influence over someone; when we hang on to bitterness or unforgiveness we end up unwittingly spreading corruption rather than life and grace in our interactions with those we influence.

When we indulge in prideful thinking~ Proverbs 13:10

The enemy knows that the best way to recruit a useful idiot is to encourage pride because pride blinds us to reality and is at the root of most other sins including blasphemy (1^st Kings 19:22), slander (Psalms 31:18), violence (Psalm 73:6), strife (Proverbs 13:10), stubbornness (Jeremiah 13:7) and scheming (Psalm 10:2). Prideful thinking is easy to spot in others but hard to see in ourselves, because pride is by its very nature self-deceptive (Obadiah 1:3). One clue that we may be stuck in a prideful mindset is unwillingness to admit wrongdoing or justifying our actions because of what somebody else did or didn’t do (i.e. I lied but they cheated so their cheating makes my lie acceptable).

When we spread dissension~ Proverbs 6:16-19

Proverbs 6:19, tells us that on the list of things that God hates is the spread of dissension. Dissension is an ugly thing that is spread by subtly or blatantly planting seeds of dissatisfaction in someone’s mind about a situation or relationship. Those who spread dissension like to point out problems without offering solutions, cast blame and repeat things that were told to them in confidence. As Christians it is our responsibility to be forces of good in every situation or relationship we find ourselves. God calls us to be problem solvers and reconcilers not faultfinders or troublemakers.

No follower of Jesus wants to be a tool of the devil. I am convinced that the key to avoiding the trap of becoming an unwitting accomplice in Satan’s schemes is self-examination and honest appraisal of the dynamics of whatever situation we find ourselves in. After honest evaluation we may decide that the best thing is to graciously remove ourselves from the situation and commit to prayer for all involved.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people

Why we Fail to Keep our Kids Christian

I will teach you hidden lessons from our past— stories we have heard and known, stories our ancestors handed down to us. We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation 
about the glorious deeds of the Lord, 
about his power and his mighty wonders~ Psalm 78:3-4~ NLT

There are few subjects in this world that I feel more passionate about than parenting. I have loved being a parent. It has been the second most life-shaping event of my existence (converting to Christianity was the first). Child rearing not only shapes us into better people; it gives an opportunity to shape our children and in the process impact our world for Christ. Parenting, if done well, can be a highly effective form of evangelism with the potential for multi-generational impact. I am convinced that healthy Christian parenting could very well be the key to turning the cultural and moral tide in our world.

If Christian parents can effectively pass on their faith to their kids, those who embrace Christian morality could very well gain a numerical advantage over those who don’t all over the Western world through demographics in the coming years. It sounds too good to be true but it isn’t: Religious women (of all faiths) tend to have more children than non-religious women.  Women in the U.S. who describe themselves as religious and conservative have a thirty percent higher birthrate than women who describe themselves as liberal and non-religious.  Traditionally, children have tended to adopt the faith and political views of their parents; this has been been true of Christianity for 2000 years, until recently.

Recent statistics are showing an alarming trend in the opposite direction. Christian women are still having more babies than non-religious women but those kids aren’t sticking around the church. Nearly 70% of young adults who are raised in evangelical churches are leaving the Christian faith upon graduation from high school. A few return when they have families of their own, but most don’t.

In last week’s blog post, “Five Keys to Keeping our Kids Christian,” I observed that certain types of families tend to have a better retention rate than other families.  I shared a few things parents can do to create the kind of family that tends to keep their kids Christian. A few days after the blog was posted I got a phone call from a close friend who had read my blog.

  We discussed my observations for a while, and then she asked me a question that has been bugging me all week: “Why on earth don’t more parents do this stuff?” Her query got me thinking.  Today I want to explore her question by sharing six reasons parents don’t pass on the faith to their kids.

I recognize the fact that there are some parents who did everything possible to disciple their kids and have not had the desired results. I understand there are situations that are beyond the control of parents; one of the sad truths concerning kids is that they grow into adults who have free will and there are some who will choose to reject the faith and do their own thing no matter how well their parents taught them.

If you are among the parents who sincerely tried with your kids and they rejected the faith my heart goes out to you. My goal today is not to heap guilt on already hurting parents but to prevent future train wrecks by providing some food for thought for those who still have kids at home. Through the years I have noticed a pattern with parents—not just with parents who effectively pass on their faith, but also with the parents who fail to do so. Those parents who struggle to pass on their faith tend to do so in one of six areas.

Fear of giving the wrong answers to spiritual questions~

This concern has some legitimacy. Kids ask tough questions and many parents feel woefully unqualified when it comes to answering tough questions. If fear is holding you back from talking to your kids about spiritual issues, I have some good news for you. First, you don’t have to have all the answers as long as you are willing to find them. Second, there are some excellent resources available; and third, it’s perfectly okay to learn about God and the Bible alongside your kids. A good beginners Bible or Bible storybook is great for younger kids and books like 1001 Questions Kids Ask about God and the Bible are great books to read with older kids. I cannot stress enough the importance of kids seeing their parents study the Bible and seeking to grow spiritually; the power of a good example cannot be underestimated.

They have been conditioned to leave their kids to the experts~

 Parents today are surrounded by experts of every kind. Doctors, psychologists, teachers, coaches, social workers and pastors are all giving parents the impression that they know more about kids than the parents. Experts have their place (I don’t recommend doing open heart surgery on your kid) but parents—not Veggie Tales, Sunday school teachers or Pastors— are the ones who are instructed to teach and train children (Deuteronomy 6:6-8, Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4). There is nothing wrong with Veggie Tales, Sunday school or other church activities, but they should be a supplement to what parents are teaching kids at home—not the primary source of teaching and training.

Laziness~

A while back one of my kids approached me and asked if I could answer some questions they had about the book of Revelation. The last thing I felt like doing at that moment was answering questions about the book of Revelation. There were some good reasons for my foot-dragging. First, it was late and I was exhausted. Second, I, unlike most women, have only so much capacity for conversation; I had spent a good deal of that day talking and I was pretty much talked out. Third, I had just finished up my chores for the night and all I wanted to do was put on a pair of comfy elastic-waist pants and veg out in front of the TV with a bowl of salty snacks.  Fourth, (please don’t judge me) I hate the book of Revelation. It’s a complicated book and to really do it justice you need to reference a bunch of other books of the Bible and it all gets rather involved. I wasn’t in the mood for something involved. I was about a to find a polite way to put the child off when I realized with a stab of conviction that I was being lazy. I could answer their questions but I just didn’t feel like it. I ended up having the discussion and it turned out that the child’s questions were really much deeper than the book of Revelation; their questions were more about the goodness of God and the responsibility and mystery of human freewill. If I had blown the kid off they would have been left to figure this stuff out alone.

Passing on the faith is about more than answering questions. Kids need to be protected from the culture, taken to church and taught the basics of the faith in a systematic way.  Laziness is probably the number one reason kids who grow up in Christian homes aren’t learning the Bible. Spiritual training is hard, time-consuming work and sometimes we just don’t feel like doing it. If we want our kids to stay Christian we have to get past our feelings and get busy.  

We want our kids to think we’re cool and talking about the Bible and biblical standards doesn’t feel cool~

There is nothing in this world less cool to a kid than an adult who is trying to be cool, so we should all stop trying. If your kids think you’re cool, it’s because you’re honest and forthcoming about what you believe and because you live by your convictions, not because you dress a certain way and avoid subjects that the world deems “uncool.” The Bible may not be cool or hip but it’s full of timeless life-changing truth and when your kids are old they will appreciate you sharing it with them far more than they will remember or care about your coolness quotient.

Unresolved guilt over past choices~

One of the greatest lies of our time says that you have to be completely prefect and sinless to have any moral authority.  Unfortunately many parents have bought into this lie and they feel they have no right to tell their kids that they have to attend church, stay away from drugs, avoid premarital sex and live differently than they did when they were young. The truth is that those of us who have felt the shame of past sins are the most qualified to warn others of the dangers of those sins. If you are in Christ, there is no condemnation (Romans 8:1-3). It is time for parents to stop condemning themselves over past sins and instead warn their kids of the potential dangers of straying from God’s path.  

Other activities take priority~

There is a lot of pressure on today’s parents to produce truly special children; specialness is defined as being enormously gifted in academics, dance, music or athletics. On top that of that pressure there is the added burden of getting kids into a good college and academic superiority or a well-developed talent is often seen as the ticket to future success. There is very little cultural value placed on morality, ethics or wisdom. In an effort to produce a “well-rounded” child many parents have their kids in an abundance of activities that are tremendously time consuming. None of these activities are wrong or sinful but they may take much needed time away from the “teachable moments” of life that are born from unstructured time. Some parents even encourage their kids to drop out of church activities in order to make more time for sports or academics. I am convinced that God is more concerned with the state our children’s souls than He is with their academic and athletic performance.

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 A wise man once observed that people are the only things on earth we can take to heaven with us when we die. I don’t know of a single Christian parent who does not want to take their children with them into eternity. Teaching our children the truth about who God is and what he is all about is the key to taking them with us. But it’s not just eternity that is at stake; we live in a world that desperately needs the redemptive power of biblical truth.

Psalm 127:4-5 refers to children as arrows in a quiver. Arrows are shaped thorough a process called fletching. If its done right the arrow will be straight and symmetrical and will shoot in such a way that it hits any target it is aimed at. Our responsibility as parents is to be intentional in the shaping of our kids and to have a target that we are aiming at. If we aim at the target of raising kids who know truth and understand how to apply it to real life situations, we have will not just take them with us into eternity but also reform society in the process.

  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him~ Colossians 3:16-18 ESV