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Sunday, July 26, 2015

Hearing God


Most conversations about hearing the voice of God go in one of two directions. Some confidently claim that they hear from God all the time about every minute detail of their life. God speaks to them audibly on every topic imaginable, from the serious to the mundane.

 God has graciously informed them whom they should be friends with and which schools they should put their kids in.  God tells them where to go to get their car serviced, which brand of toothpaste they ought to buy and what breakfast foods they should consume each morning. 

These folks do not weigh the pros or cons of any decision. They don’t agonize over which job to take or whom they should marry, or even where they should go for dinner. They have all the answers because God tells them exactly what to do all the time.

On the opposite end of the spectrum are the people who awkwardly confess that they have never heard God speak. They read their Bibles and pray on a regular basis but they admit that they have never actually heard from God. These folks typically feel like second-class citizens when compared to the first group. In their darker moments they wonder if God loves them or if they are really Christians.

 I believe that God speaks to all of His people at least some of the time. I also believe that there are situations when we don’t hear God’s voice because we have preconceived notions about how we think God should speak. Those biases can interfere with our ability to hear what God is saying. We want (and sometimes even demand) an audible voice when He is intent on using another, more subtle approach. Following are the most common methods God uses when He has something to say.  

The Bible- Psalm 119:105, 2nd Timothy 3:16

Contrary to popular opinion, the Bible is still God’s preferred means of communication with people. God will never tell anyone to do anything that directly contradicts biblical teaching. If you want to hear God’s voice, begin there.

People- 1st Samuel 25, Acts 17:16-33, 2nd Samuel 12, Judges 1:8-9

When God wanted David to understand that his craving for vengeance would lead him down a path of wanton self-destruction, God chose to speak those words through the quiet wisdom of a young woman named Abigail. When God wanted to proclaim the reality of His existence to the people of Athens, He used the words of Paul to communicate that truth. God still uses men and women to communicate truth to one another.  For that reason, it is critical that we prayerfully evaluate the encouraging and not-so-encouraging words of our friends, family members, pastors and even the people we don’t really care for. Sometimes when people speak it’s not them speaking, but God speaking through them. We will do well to listen.

Strong impressions and still small voices- 1st Kings 19: 11-18, Acts 15:28-29, Acts 16:6

In my experience, God seldom says, “Do this” or “don’t do that.” But he does speak to His people through impressions or a strong sense that we should or should not do something. The only time we should ignore those impressions is when the activity we are considering violates biblical instruction.

Circumstances- Exodus 2:5-8, Acts 8:1-8

Little in life is more frustrating than feeling we are being forced into a course of action by circumstances outside of our control. Thankfully these situations are not always the tragedies they seem to be at the time. Sometimes seemingly adverse circumstances are really the just the hand of God guiding us towards His will for our lives.

  I honestly do not know if God talks to some folks more than others. It’s certainly possible; God deals with people as individuals and He is free to do whatever He pleases. I do know that God is good and that He never leaves us alone. I also know that if we need direction He will give it to us, but that direction may not come in the form we are expecting. It is our spiritual responsibility to keep our hearts and spirits open to God’s will in whatever way He chooses to reveal it.

     





Sunday, July 19, 2015

Surviving a Spiritual Dry Season


Spiritual stalls or desert experiences typically begin with a disturbing sense that God is far away and our prayers are not being heard. The sense that God is far away and the logical conclusion that He is deliberately ignoring us predictably leads to a lack of spiritual direction and an overwhelming sense of confusion. We feel lost and may begin to believe we have been forgotten or abandoned by God. Every obstacle and disappointment feels like a spiritual rebuke and becomes a verification of our deepest fears.  

Some Christians react proactively. They step-up church attendance, pray with greater fervency, and work their spiritual tails off in a valiant effort to make God happy and get Him back on their side. A few become depressed and despondent. Others become irate and bitter, supposing erroneously that God has turned on them. Spiritual pity parties and noble attempts to placate God are natural responses. However, these responses will not fix anything and may even lead to spiritual regression or rejection of the faith altogether. 

If this describes you, there are a few things you need to understand. First, you are not the only believer to experience a dry season or stall. Some of the very best and most committed of God’s people suffered through a dry season at one time or another. Naomi, David, Elijah, Jonah, Jeremiah, Esther and even Jesus (Matthew 27:46) went through periods where they felt God was remote and uninterested in their situation.

No matter how you feel at this moment, you must understand that God has not stopped loving you, nor is He punishing you. His silence is not evidence of desertion. He still cares. He has a plan for you and He has no intention of allowing your pain to go on forever. Hang on to that. Memorize and meditate on Isaiah 42:3:  “A bruised reed He will not break, and a dimly burning wick, He will not extinguish; He will faithfully bring forth justice.

A spiritual stall is not the time for self-pity but it is a good time for some healthy self-examination. God never moves away from us. He is steady and unchanging. We on the other hand are prone to wander, sometimes without realizing it. I have learned that when God feels far away it’s a good time to ask some hard questions:

Am I making a daily effort to connect with God through prayer and Bible study?

Is there some area of my life that has become a foothold for the enemy (Ephesians 4:26-28)?

Have my personal dreams or desires become demands that I make of God? 

Am I harboring resentment in my heart because God has not answered a prayer to my liking?
   
 If the honest answer to any of the above questions is “yes” then change direction as rapidly as possible. Make a determined effort to connect with God, repent of wrong attitudes, deal with sin and spend some additional time in prayer realigning your dreams with God’s will. If, on the other hand, none of the above seem to apply to your situation then you should assume that God is taking you through a season of refinement and growth.

Because we live in a fallen world, spiritual growth rarely comes easy and is always incremental. Growth comes as we shed old behaviors and change the mindsets and attitudes that allowed those wrong behaviors to flourish. Letting go of old behaviors and attitudes empowers us to reach new levels of spiritual understanding.  The process is agonizing because our flesh longs to hang on to the old ways of functioning and looking at life. This painful process is the only way we can be transformed into the likeness of Jesus.

We can fight growth or we can embrace it. We fight it by willfully refusing to see the issues in our life that need to be addressed. We embrace growth by asking God with a sincere heart to show us what exactly needs to happen in our lives for us to become more like Jesus. It is this place of humility and submission that allows God to do in us what needs to be done and frees us up to reestablish our sense of connection with God.





Sunday, July 12, 2015

How to Avoid Parental Heartbreak


My husband and I hiked through a rainforest with the kids and were blown away by the magnificence of God’s handiwork. We spent a day in  Portland. Sadly, it was much dirtier and far less charming than I remembered. We reminisced over a long dinner with old friends and were reminded that there are no friends like old friends. We ended the week at the lovely wedding of our son’s childhood friend. Witnessing the marriage of a now-adult child we watched grow up was a bittersweet reminder of how quickly time passes.

As I write, we are headed back to Tucson and I have little to do but think. My mind keeps wandering back to some conversations I have had over the past weeks. All the folks have different stories but they do share a common bond. All have adult children that have broken their hearts.

Some of the kids got caught up in drugs and were unable to free themselves from the trap.  Others became alcoholics. Bad company and or worldly philosophies led more than a few astray.  All who strayed have turned their backs on the faith they were raised in.

 There was precious little I could say to comfort theses parents over the course of our conversations. Once an adult child has gone their own way there is not a lot that can be done to bring them back. The ultimate outcome of their story is between them and God. Because there are few cures for this particular brand of heartache, prevention is imperative. There are five steps Moms and Dads can take over the course of the parenting years to prevent a world of hurt when their kids reach adulthood. 

Get married and stay that way –

Divorce wrecks kids. Children of divorce universally believe that if they were smarter, cuter or better behaved their parents would have stayed together. This false view of reality sets them up for all sorts of self-image and relationship issues later in life. Perhaps the biggest problem with divorce is that it diverts attention that should be on kids back to the parents. Parents spend a lot of time licking their wounds and searching for relationships to shore up their own shattered self-confidence in the years following a divorce. This leaves kids with loads of time to develop sketchy friendships and lots of opportunities to experiment with dangerous behaviors. To make matters worse, stepparents are rarely passionate about raising someone else’s kids. Kids sense the tension and it causes them to feel like interlopers in their own homes. If you feel you absolutely must divorce, do your kids a favor and commit to singleness (and celibacy) until they reach adulthood.

Don’t overlook character issues-

Inclinations towards substance abuse, self-centeredness, deceit, spiritual apathy, laziness, and the tendency to withdraw have their roots in childhood. Be aware of your child’s predisposition to certain sins and deal with issues early on.

Be selective about which influences you allow-

Friends, relatives, educators, television and even music powerfully influence how our kids view the world. It is vital that we know who and what is shaping our kids. Parents are sometimes hesitant to say “no” to people and things that are having a detrimental impact on their kids out of fear of appearing controlling.  There are no do-overs in childrearing. Once harm is done, it’s done. Don’t hesitate to limit or even eliminate influences that are inclined to lead your kids down the wrong path.

Don’t be a fraud-

Do not pretend to be better than you really are and refuse to be satisfied with living a feeble, partially committed Christian existence. Deal with the sin in your life decisively (Matthew 5:30). You must deal with the sin in your life because your child’s spiritual future is hinging on your ability to model truth for them. You don’t have to be perfect but you do need to be making an authentic and concerted effort toward becoming holy.

Commit to a Bible-believing Church-

A good Church has innumerable benefits: it provides a good place to make friends, teaches truth, provides accountability and helps keep kids busy and grounded during the teen years. It is possible for a person to be very involved in Church and not have a relationship with God.  That said, kids understand almost intuitively that our involvement with Church is huge indicator of how serious we are about our relationship with God. Your kids will likely never be more committed to God or Church than you are, so get committed to God, find a good Church and stick with it.

There are no guarantees in child rearing. It is possible to do everything right and still have a kid who breaks your heart.  The odds of parental heartbreak are significantly diminished when you strive to nurture a good marriage, seek a vital relationship with Jesus Christ, keep an eye on influences and live transparently.


Sunday, July 5, 2015

Four Truths Your Kids Need to Know About God


Few would be foolish enough to argue that accuracy doesn’t really matter. After all, no one would hire a surgeon who is not known for it. I pay my tax accountant handsomely for it. And the winner of nearly every contest in this life is ultimately decided by it.        

I know now that lack of accuracy with something as seemingly silly and inconsequential as inputting “Street” rather than “Road” into a GPS will result in some fairly serious consequences. Like landing you on the side of town where there is a serious language barrier between you and the vast majority of the residents.

As a culture, we value accuracy and precision when it comes to most issues. Even going so far as to threaten litigation against folks who act carelessly. Sadly, we have become a bit laissez-faire concerning the information we dispense about God. This is particularly true when it comes to children. Parents and Sunday school teachers alike tell Bible stories severely lacking in context and skip over seedy details that cause the grown-ups in the room to feel awkward or uncomfortable. We talk a lot about the love of God but leave out any information that might possibly imply that God is also a God of judgment.  

We have revised God, and in the course of making our revisions, we have succeeded in restructuring Him into an image that is much more user-friendly. Sadly, it bears little resemblance to the God of the Bible. It’s a God most of us feel pretty good about and few of us fear but this God is having little influence on how most folks think, behave or make choices.

It’s the young who are paying the price for the wholesale editing of God’s image.  Most are drowning in the cultural morass we have created with our lack of spiritual and moral focus.  It’s not too late to turn things around, but we have to stop making God into our own image and become more intentional about teaching our kids the truth about God. Kids need to know that:

1. God’s love is different from human love

Kids should understand that God loves them, but they should also understand that God does not love like people love. Human love tends to be all about making people feel good. We feel loved by another person when they are going out of their way to make us feel good about what we are doing and how we are behaving. God’s love is about making us into genuinely good people. Because God wants us to be good instead of just feeling good He will sometimes allow us to experience situations that are unpleasant (Hebrews 12:6). God doesn’t do this to be cruel. He does it to build our character, bring our perspective into alignment with His and make us more like Jesus. Our kids need to be taught that God has not stopped loving them simply because life has gotten hard or feels unpleasant for a period of time.

2. God does not change

Contrary to popular belief, God’s opinions and judgments do not shift with changing times and fluctuating human attitudes (Hebrews 13:8). If God did not approve of something five thousand years ago, it’s unlikely that His attitude has evolved on the issue. Kids need to understand that current popular opinions on a whole host of moral issues will be irrelevant to God on judgment day.

3. God has the right to decide what flies and what doesn’t  

Because God made the Universe, He gets to decide exactly what’s right and wrong and what really works in the long run. We need to help our kids understand that when God says something we don’t agree with, we are the ones who fail to grasp the bigger picture, not God.

4. God wants His people to be kind

It is our responsibility as followers of God to speak to people about God. The key is to do it in such a way that causes people to want to get on board with God’s way of doing things (Ephesians 4:15).  It is not our job to berate, rebuke or belittle folks into the Kingdom of God.  Nor is okay to minimize or gloss over the consequences of blowing off the opportunities God gives in this life to repent and get our lives right with God.

More than anything else, our kids need to know that God is unchanging. His love for us is constant but so are His standards. It is our responsibility to share both with our kids.