A Time to Live: The Key to Walking in Blessing

A Time to Live: The Key to Walking in Blessing: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Chri...

The Key to Walking in Blessing

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight~ Ephesians 1:1-3 NIV

Last week I enjoyed a long visit in the home of a very dear friend. One morning my friend was busy with a project, and because I am an equal opportunity conversationalist I sat in her cheery kitchen, sipped coffee, and caught up with her husband who is also a good friend of mine.

 At one point, the subject of our families came up. He and I discovered long ago that we come from similar backgrounds and share a great deal of experience with the sad topic of dysfunctional families.

I come from a very long line of egocentric alcoholic fools who have chosen to give into rather than fight their anger management issues. His family has had fewer issues with anger and narcissism, but just as many problems with alcohol and other forms of foolishness.

As we discussed the current state of our families we somehow got started on the subject of generational curses. We agreed that Exodus 20:5 is one of the most misunderstood passages in all of Scripture.

It states in part…

I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.

Some have erroneously understood this verse to mean that God curses family lines willy-nilly with all sorts of problematic behaviors and addictions simply because one member screws up. The 18^th chapter of Ezekiel clearly teaches that nothing could be further from the truth.

 The son will not share the guilt of the Father, nor will the Father share the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous man will be credited to him and the wickedness of the wicked will be credited to him~ Ezekiel 18:20 NIV

Individuals are not cursed by God but by their own decisions and choices.

 People make personal, spiritual and behavioral choices and those choices tend to be repeated by their children and their children’s children. The long-term consequences of those chosen behaviors can begin to look an awful lot like curses after a generation or two.

If we want lives free from the curses that come from bad choices we must understand that no choice is made in isolation. The decisions and choices we make every day have the power to touch our families with either dysfunction or blessing. The dysfunction born out of sinful choices can become so entrenched that the effects of those choices can linger for generations—as in my family and the family of my friend.

God longs for His people to embrace the truth that we are not bound by the bad choices of our parents and grandparents. At any point we can break free from our past and change the course of our destiny and the destinies of our future decedents simply by choosing a different path.

Deuteronomy 30:19, is clear…

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.

Some have taken this verse and others like it to mean that if we are walking in blessing we will never suffer pain or experience adversity. If that were true, then Jesus did not walk in blessing on this earth because He suffered pain and adversity on a level that few of us will ever experience. Walking in the blessing of God is about a whole lot more than having plenty of money and being free from adversity and sickness.

Walking in blessing is about having the inner strength to manage the hardships of life with grace and dignity. When we walk in the blessings of God, we become a blessing to those around us. We experience the peace of God on a deeply personal level and are able to pass that peace on to others. When we walk closely with God, He showers us with blessings that produce an enduring legacy of wisdom, joy and righteousness for future generations.

Choosing to live a life of blessing is about more than simply being saved. A relationship with Jesus Christ does not guarantee a functional existence. Sadly, Christians can and often do pass on the curse of bad choices to their children. Salvation is the beginning—not the end—of our faith journey.  

The key to a life well lived is salvation combined with obedience. We choose a life of blessing by walking in obedience to God’s commands and by living out God’s truth. Knowing and understanding Scripture is the key to discerning which choices bring blessing and which do not. 

The blessings of God are born out of the deliberate decision to make different choices than our parents and grandparents made. We walk in blessing when we embrace God’s truth with our whole heart, mind and spirit. We must seek daily to become the healthy, whole followers of Jesus we have been called to become.

As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ~ 1^st Peter 2:4-5

The Oppressive Puppet Master

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth~ 1^st John 1:4-6 NIV

Not long ago, I sat in the Sunday morning church service, far less tuned into the sermon than I should have been. The previous week had been a killer and the next one was looking like it could be every bit as nerve-wracking. I was busy pondering survival strategies for the coming week.

 I might have been inclined to pay more careful attention if the sermon had been about something other than forgiveness. It’s not that I’ve never grappled with an unforgiving spirit. I have, more times than I care to admit.

However, right at that moment there was no one I needed to forgive. So, rightly or wrongly I felt entitled to check out a little bit.

 And then my Pastor, Jerry Trewern said something so insightful and thought provoking that it broke through my self-absorbed musings, and caused my imagination to run wild.

 Three little words…

Unforgiveness is unforgiving.

The inside of my head can be a rather peculiar place and something about his statement caused me think about the topic of unforgiveness in a whole new way.

I have always viewed forgiveness as simply a choice that we make. A hard choice at times—still, only a choice. That morning I imagined unforgiveness as a living, breathing sentient being; a tyrannical, oppressive, puppet master that holds people captive to its will.

I haven’t been able to get that picture out of my head.

Unforgiveness is unforgiving, relentless and brutal. Unforgiveness is the fertile ground that sows seeds of bitterness and even hate. Once unforgiveness is permitted a foothold, it has a tendency to take over and negatively color the way we see everything and everyone. It inadvertently determines how we treat people, including those who aren’t responsible for causing us pain.

Forgiveness is more than just a choice we make; ultimately it’s a choice that makes us.

An unforgiving spirit becomes a cage holding us captive to bad experiences, effectively tethering our hearts to the past. Bondage to past trauma or hurt makes it nearly impossible to move forward emotionally or spiritually and ultimately entices us to sin in other areas of our lives.

We know we are being held hostage by the evil taskmaster of unforgiveness when…

We spend way too much time thinking about the people who have wronged us

We habitually fantasize about vengeance   

We have a tough time believing the best in people

We have a hard time imagining that God is for us

We tend to view forgiveness as a gift we choose to give God views forgiveness as a prerequisite for growth, blessing and freedom.

Abolishing the evil puppet master begins with the recognition that we are all unworthy recipients of God’s grace and mercy. In order to forgive others we have to grasp the reality that our sins against God are at least as great as any sin that has been committed against us. This awareness gives us the incentive we need to become givers as well as receivers of grace and mercy.

The next step is to release the debt. Let it go and move on. Forget about it to the best of your ability. Give up the right to exact revenge. Letting go is never easy because it goes against the grain of our fallen human nature. Expect it to be a process that takes time.

It does not matter whether or not the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. They probably don’t. Forgiveness is not about them; it’s about you.

It’s about you being free.

 Free from bitterness, free from hatred, free from negative thoughts and feelings that consume your time, energy and spiritual strength.

When we are finally free from the oppressive fiend of unforgiveness we are free to be what God intended us to be: a source of refreshment and blessing for others.

 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins~ 1^st Colossians 1:13-14

When Life Isn't Fair...

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles~ Psalm 34:7

I recall with perfect clarity the first time I grasped just how unfair life could be.

 I was thirteen and my brother Charley was eleven. Charley was given permission to ride the city bus downtown to see a movie with his friends. The next week I asked if I could do the same thing and was told no. I of course demanded to know why my younger brother was allowed to do something I wasn’t.

After much explanation (on my Mother’s part) and debate (on my part) my exasperated and exhausted Mother ended the conversation abruptly with….

“Let it go, Lisa. Things are just different for girls”.

I get it now. I have two daughters and I understand that, unfair as it may seem to treat boys and girls differently, things really are different for girls. There are plenty of creepy people running around who would be more than eager to take advantage of a young girl, especially one who is all by herself.  

Unfairness presents itself in many forms. Sometimes it’s learning the gloomy truth that boys and girls really are different. Sometimes it’s much more painful and life impacting. Like when we learn we have been….

Lied to by someone we trusted

Passed over for an opportunity

Slandered by a friend or co-worker  

Misunderstood by someone who should have known better

Cheated on

The victim of someone else’s jealousy

Unfairness and injustice can cause us to become angry and cynical. Anger and cynicism, left unchecked, provide fertile ground for the development of the bitter roots we are admonished to avoid at all costs in Hebrews 10:36. Unfair scenarios that trigger the development bitter roots are sure to come into our lives. How we respond to these situations will make or break us as Christians.

 In 1^st Samuel 25 David was at the end of what he could handle. Life had been unfair to David for a very long time.

It all started when David received the seemingly good news that he would be the future Monarch of Israel. King Saul caught wind of God’s plan and unleashed the full force of his jealousy and wrath on David. David spent the next two decades struggling to stay alive long enough to see the prophecy fulfilled.

Fugitives from crazy Kings need to make a living too. In 1^st Samuel 25 David found a way to put food on the table. During sheep shearing season David and his men would keep ranchers’ sheep secure from marauding bandits. In return, the ranchers would provide food and other goods for David and his men. It was an effective and lucrative system until David met a nasty man named Nabal who refused to pay for services rendered.

David, overwhelmed by the unfairness and injustice he had suffered, lost control and vowed to all within earshot…

“May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to Nabal!”

After years of being treated unfairly, something within David broke and he gave into the temptation that all victims of unfairness face eventually. He became unfair and unreasonable in the way he treated others.

It’s reasonable to say that Nabal desperately needed to be schooled on the subjects of integrity and respect. Murdering every male on Nabal’s property regardless of guilt or innocence is not the type of schooling God likes to see His people hand out.

Then along came Nabal’s wife, Abigail, who reminded David of some truths that we all need to hear from time to time. Abigail reminded David that…

Foolish and cruel people should not be allowed to change who we are

The sin of one evil person does not excuse our own

There are harsh consequences for the choices we make in anger

God has a way of making things fair in the long run

 Abigail wanted David to understand that when we reach that awful place where we have been treated so unfairly we feel inclined to sin or seek revenge, we are quite likely nearing the end of our trial. Better and brighter days are right around the corner. The trick for all of us is to keep our eyes on God and His goodness rather than our own misery long enough to see God’s plan come to fruition in our lives.

As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy~ James 5:11 NIV

Working Through the Pain of Waiting

 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord~ Psalm 27:4  

The warm weather in Tucson during the winter months causes the population to explode from October thru April. People come from all over North America to escape icy road conditions, puffy coats and close relationships with their snow shovels.

The fleeting population boom is a godsend for business owners. They adore the snowbirds and the money they bring to our area. My husband so looks forward to the increase in sales that in early November he prays fervently for blizzards on the East Coast. Judging from the weather reports this past winter, we can all safely assume my husband is praying some powerful prayers these days.

For those of us who don’t own or manage a business, the increase in population is far less thrilling.

 As the population surges, everything takes longer. Traffic becomes a daily drama. There are more people, and the people don’t always know where they are going or how to get there. So a ten-minute commute transforms into twenty on most days. The wait time at restaurants doubles, and you can forget about running in and out of the grocery store or the doctor’s office.

Waiting patiently has never really been my thing. For a long time one of my favorite phrases was…

“Can’t you just hurry up already”?

When my young children began repeating that phrase to one another I came under some heavy conviction. I recognized that I had some pretty ugly entitlement issues when it came to getting things in what I saw as a timely manner.

After some prayer, I began the process of forcing myself to behave in a way that was patient and gracious whenever I had to wait in a long line, or for my turn at something I felt I shouldn’t have to wait for. Eventually acting patient and gracious morphed into (usually) feeling patient and gracious.

I am now enough of a grown-up that waiting on the small stuff doesn’t get to me like it used to. I can (usually) endure having to wait through three green lights to make my turn or a forty-minute wait at my favorite restaurant with a measure of civility and grace.

 Recently, I have begun to wonder if God thinks I could still use some tweaking in this area.  I have found myself waiting for what feels like a really long time for some big prayers to be answered.

 Waiting is hard. Whether we are waiting for a long awaited answer to prayer, a much-needed change of circumstance or for another person to have a change of heart, waiting is never easy. The delay I’ve experienced is teaching me to wait like a spiritual grown-up. Opening myself up to this process has helped me see waiting in a new light.

In John chapter eleven Jesus receives the news that his friend Lazarus is critically ill. Jesus does the opposite of what we would expect Him to do upon hearing the news that His friend is terminally ill. He waits. Then He waits some more, and then He waits some more. Jesus waits two full days before taking any sort of action on Lazarus’ behalf.

On the surface Jesus’ deliberate dawdling seems mean, almost malevolent. Jesus possessed the power to change Lazarus’ situation as quickly as He chose to. He could have healed Lazarus from a distance if He wanted. He had done it before, but He chose not to.

The words of some onlookers at Lazarus’ graveside reflect our own feelings of frustration at times…

Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying? John 11:37 NIV

What no one but Jesus knew at the time is that Jesus’ decision to wait rather than act immediately was actually a sign of His favor on Lazarus and his sisters. Jesus chose to reveal His glory to and through this family in a way that no one before or since has experienced. Their temporary pain at having to wait for something that seemed essential to them became a story that has brought millions to faith in the God they loved.

 It seems to me that God must have been doing some work in the hearts of Mary and Martha during the four days they waited for Jesus to show up. Those four days of waiting must have felt like hell on earth, but they were really a refining process. The family learned to accept God on His terms rather than their own. It was something they needed to learn to prepare them for the next thing God had for them.

Rather than a punishment, waiting is sometimes a sign of God planning something bigger or better for us. Other times waiting is part of a refining process. The wait time is an indicator God’s desire to something in or through you that can only be done with the passing of time. 

I am learning that waiting like a grown-up means holding on to hope and walking in faith. It means believing that God is good and is working out His purposes as we wait on Him.  I am learning that waiting can be a difficult but necessary refining process that will prepare us for the next thing—if we let the process do its work.

But I pray to you, Lord, in the time of your favor; in your great love, O God, answer me with your sure salvation~ Psalm 69:13