How to Wreck a Boy

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of~ Luke 6:45

 My husband Alan is my favorite person on Earth. He is funny, clever, kind and extraordinarily perceptive. He is a fantastic father, a loyal friend and an all-around awesome human being. He is also one of my most faithful and honest readers. I know that I can always count on him for a gentle but candid appraisal of my efforts, so when Alan makes a comment or raises a concern about a post, I take him seriously. 

 Alan read last week’s “How to Wreck a Girl” and asked:

“What about boys? Seriously, there are at least as many wrecked men as women out there.”

My husband’s insight stopped me in my tracks. There are an alarming number of messed-up men and boys in this world. Little attention is paid to their problems, or the reasons for their problems. The evidence is overwhelming:

 80 percent of high school dropouts are boys

One out of every three children in America lives in a home without a Father  

 90 percent of all discipline referrals are given to boys

Many men are delaying marriage and parenthood until well into their third decade of life

Boys under 18 are responsible for close to one-fifth of violent crime in the United States.

One would think that an epidemic of messed-up men would spawn some amusing reality television centered on narcissistic men and their issues. There are no such shows because narcissistic, self-absorbed men are far less amusing and fun to watch than narcissistic, self-absorbed women.

Sadly, mean, spiteful, selfish women are entertaining to watch. Bad girls break hearts, spew vitriol, hurt feelings and shipwreck relationships; but in the end they mostly hurt themselves with their foolishness. Mean women are not much fun to deal with on a personal level, but they are interesting to watch on television.

When men go bad, they become selfish and mean in a way that devastates families, wreaks social destruction and is much less amusing to witness. Bad boys are unfocused, aggressive, and sexually exploitive of women. No one wants to watch that on television.

It’s easier to wreck boys than girls. I don’t recommend it, but if you wish to raise a brutal, out of control man who is a deficit to our society all you have to do is:

Fail to teach him to control his impulses

Boys will be boys and that means if your boy wants something you should let him have it. He should never have to wait or work for something he wants. Allow him to curse and backtalk and give full vent to his anger whenever he wishes. If he destroys something in a fit of rage, make excuses for him. When he gets older and becomes sexually aggressive, breaks the law and disrespects authority figures, ensure that he never has to deal with the consequences for his actions.

Communicate through your actions that “no” is a meaningless word   

 When you tell your boy “no,” don’t ever mean it. It’s best if he believes that “no” is a word devoid of consequence. Boys should believe “no” is nothing more than a jumping off place for negotiations. Never give consequences for broken rules or boundaries. When he’s a teenager he will know that no one is really serious when they ask him to stop.

Shame him for not embracing girlish behavior 

Boys should never be given appropriate outlets for their energy and passion. They should not be allowed to get dirty, play rough or enjoy traditionally male pastimes such as hunting, rough sports, fishing and other outdoor activities. Instead boys should be encouraged to play quietly, read books about relationships and talk about their feelings. If your boy does not wish to act like a girl, ask him repeatedly why he can’t be more like his sister or the girl next door.

Encourage him to be disdainful of women

Boys need to learn early on that boys really are better than girls and that women are only useful for what they can provide a man sexually. A boy should never be made to obey his Mother or treat her with respect. A boy is most likely to be contemptuous of women if Mom is either very passive or very controlling and Dad is disrespectful and demanding of his wife.

Expose him to pornography at an early age

Pornography is highly addictive. With any luck your boy will get hooked. A robust porn addiction is certain to produce a poor self-image and a low view of women.

It’s painfully clear that Western civilization is crashing down around us. One reason for our moral and political free-fall is a lack of strong, godly men who are willing and able to act as examples for the next generation. If you want to do the world a favor, raise a boy who fears God, respects proper authority, exercises self-control and respects women. That is the kind of man God can bless and people can follow.   

The Lord makes firm the steps of the man who delights in Him~ Psalm 37:23