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Sunday, December 30, 2012

Make 2013 a Do-over


Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! ~ Isaiah 43:18

I have a brother who is two years younger than I am. When we were kids we were really close. Like most siblings with a tight bond we had a system of rules known only to us that governed our play. Some of the rules were simple and unspoken: for example, either of us could declare a competition at any time  (like a race or an eating contest) and the other had to comply with the request. If for whatever reason the challenged sibling refused to compete the one who declared the contest could retaliate by pouting, hitting, or declaring the other a scaredy-cat without being told on.

Some of the rules were more complex and were verbally hashed out, like the rules for a do-over. A do-over was a new beginning to whatever activity we were in the middle of (usually a contest of some sort). When one of us felt that we had messed up and the activity wasn’t going well for us we could declare a “do-over”. Do-overs could be called at anytime but there were rules that had to be obeyed. The rules were:

Everybody was even if a do-over was called.
Cheating automatically canceled out do-overs.  
You could call the sibling who declared the do-over a baby and they just had to deal with it.
The do-over had to be called in the first half of the game for it to count (there were some vicious fights over this one).
Only one do-over allowed per game.

If all the above rules were followed then the do-over had to be honored. It was a matter of decency. Refusing to honor a do-over was the unpardonable sin of our sibling relationship and always resulted in a fight (usually a really nasty one).

Although I was the oldest I was also the smaller of the two of us. So I felt I was at a disadvantage when we played a game that involved a physical challenge—which was often because we were both freakishly competitive.  So I was a big fan of do-overs. I still am, mostly because I end up needing a lot of them.  Because of my love of do-overs January is my favorite month of the whole year. It always feels like a fresh start and much needed chance at a do-over.   

We all need do-overs from time-to-time and not just because we are losing an arm wrestling match or a game of Monopoly. There are two areas of life where I find most people (including myself) need a do-over from time-to-time.

The first is: things we are painfully aware of and probably feel guilty about but we haven’t worked up the get-up-and-go to get them done yet.  These are rarely life changing or life controlling issues. It’s usually just petty stuff that we’ve avoided dealing with or haven’t gotten around to yet. If we did we would feel better about our lives and/or our environment.

It could be becoming more organized or planning better, getting your finances in order or writing a will. For me it’s boxes. I have several boxes of weird, random stuff from our move that I have allowed to become pieces of furniture. It’s stuff I want to keep but I don’t know what to with it so I let the boxes become a permanent fixture in my home. I need to deal with those boxes because every time I look at them I feel like my life is cluttered and messy. It’s not but I feel like it is every time I stub my toe on one of those stupid boxes.

 God wants us to have a do-over with the small things in our lives because when we deal with the small stuff we feel better about our lives and gain the confidence to tackle bigger issues. The answer to dealing with small stuff is really just as simple as getting busy. Ask God for help and/or a friend to hold you accountable if you need to. But success is really just about setting goals, over-coming the tendency towards inertia that we all have and getting things done.

The other type of do-over is much bigger and a lot harder to deal with; it’s the tough stuff. The issues that never seem to go away; it might be getting emotionally or physically healthy, becoming a better parent, repairing a broken relationship, dealing with a substance abuse problem or finally getting right with God. We tend to approach these as resolutions. Every year we grit our teeth and resolve to do better and feel like miserable losers when we fail. The good news is twofold. First, God loves you even when you fail. Second, He does not expect you to fix it on your own.

These types of do-overs involve more than simply gritting our teeth and getting it done. You have to decide you really want to change and then discover how and why you got off track in the first place. This is done through self-examination to figure out why you do the sinful things you do. This requires prayerful introspection and may involve the help of a trusted friend, Pastor or therapist to figure it out, and you have to actually begin the process of change. That is where God comes in. Ask Him for help and keep asking Him until you see change. Change will come but it’s important to remember that the longer something has been a mess the longer it takes to fix it. God will walk you through it.

 I believe with all of my being that God is the originator of the whole concept of do-overs. He allows us a fresh start anytime we ask for one. No questions asked and no penalty for asking. It will take some determination on our part but if we put in the work God will bless our efforts.  The best thing about God’s do-overs is that unlike the do-overs of my childhood there are no other rules. God freely gives you a second chance to get things right, and He won’t call you a baby for asking either.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest~ Matthew 11:28 

Sunday, December 23, 2012

How Should we Respond to Evil?


In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world~ John 16:33

Last Friday, during what is normally a season of joy and celebration, America was reminded that evil is real and at times it manifests itself in a tangible way. Because of the selfish act of one man, twenty children and six women are gone; their lives ended—most of them before they got started really living. Families are grieving and a quiet community has been changed forever.

We have no words in our language to describe the horror of what took place on Friday. As the Mother of three children my heart aches and I grieve with the rest of the country for the entire Newtown community; their loss is immeasurable.

No decent person could possibly understand what was going on in this man’s head that would cause him to commit such a heinous act of evil. The real question for those of us in the Christian community is: How do we respond to this kind of evil? How can Christians be the hands and feet of Jesus in a world that is at times dark and scary?

If we are going to make a difference in this world we have to have our eyes wide open and understand that evil is real and that it has always existed. Because of the never-ending media coverage it is easy to believe that evil is somehow a new thing, or that it is increasing in intensity. On the contrary, malevolent people have always been with us. Evil is a part of the human condition; we all have within us the potential for good or for evil; it is all about the choices we make in this life.

The killer in Newtown reminds me of Herod, another monster who in a fit of childish rage insisted that every baby boy in Bethlehem be murdered to satisfy his fury. I imagine that the town of Bethlehem grieved much as Newtown grieves today. The entire community was shattered by the wicked self-centeredness of one man.

If we are going to be effective we must be willing to call evil what it is. The monster that executed those children may have had problems but that does not make him any less responsible for his actions. We will never see any sort of productive change in our world until we have a revival of personal responsibility and recognize the truth that human beings, regardless of background or circumstances, are ALWAYS accountable for the choices they make. It is essential that we not only hold others accountable for their actions but also that we take responsibility for our own choices. Christians should shine as examples of personal restraint and responsibility.

When we look at life honestly we are better able to offer help to the hurting.  The victims of evil need help. Sometimes the help they need is financial or practical; other times, they simply need to know that they have not been forgotten. It is easy to keep the Newtown community in our prayers now while the tragedy is still reported on daily. Our prayers will be even more important in the days, months and years to come as the families learn to go on with the business of living without their loved ones. A tangible blessing we can give to people who are hurting is patience. Spiritual and emotional recovery takes time and the greatest gift we can give the hurting is to allow them to speak freely without judgment and the freedom to heal at their own pace.

Tangible help—both practical and spiritual—is essential, but hope is the greatest gift that a Christian can offer this broken and hurting world. Hope is more than a feeling or a yearning for something better. Hope is the birthright of every believer; it is based not on emotional longing for something better but on the historical reality of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The hope that we have is rooted firmly in the promises of Scripture…

  We have hope that the hurting will be healed~
 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds~ Psalm 147:3 

 We have hope that God will somehow bring good out of tragedy~
 We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him~ Romans 8:28

 We have hope the hope that in time justice will be done~
God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you and give relief to you who are troubled~ 2nd Thessalonians 1:6-7

We have hope that there will be a day when God will right all that is wrong and evil in this world~
 Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. Never again will there be in it
an infant who lives but a few days. They will not toil in vain or bear children doomed to misfortune; they will be a people blessed by the Lord, they and their descendants with them. Isaiah 65: 17,19,23 

We offer hope to the hurting by loving them without judgment and sharing honestly both our struggles and the healing we have received from God. The only real hope any of us have in this broken world is the hope that Jesus gives.

 It has been said that a person can live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air, but only for one second without hope. Hope is our birthright as believers, and with every birthright comes a responsibility. Hope is not only something we offer to the hurting it is to be the embodiment of how we live as believers. As we live lives that are characterized by honesty, responsibility, help, and hope, we become the salve our hurting world needs.

We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield~ Psalm 33:20

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Forgotten Hero of Christmas...


He was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he had been conceived~ Luke 2:21

  Any one who knows me knows that I am a huge fan of Christmas, I love everything about the Christmas season; I love Jesus of course (I’m not a heathen): but also I love the parties, the food, the trees, the tacky decorations, the music, and the traditions. I even love the stuff I should probably see as distractions: like Frosty, Santa Claus, the elves, reindeer, and gift giving and getting; basically all the commercial stuff that sidetracks from what should be a simple celebration of the birth of the Savior.

Since becoming a Christian I have attempted to balance my appetite for the more commercial aspects of the celebration with the spiritual side of Christmas. Because I am drawn to the less than spiritual aspects of Christmas (please don’t judge me) I have disciplined myself to spend a little extra time every year focusing on the birth story of Christ.  This year I started in Matthew and rediscovered an over-looked (at least for me) hero of the Christmas story: Joseph.

Joseph is easy to dismiss because Mary is the star of the show. It’s easy to get caught up in the drama of her story. A young virgin whose world is suddenly turned upside down by a visit from an angel of all things; her obedient response to the angel’s announcement is a picture-perfect example of what a response to God’s call should look like. She willingly endured personal loss, hardship and probably even ridicule to become the Mother of the Messiah. Her bravery and selflessness stands as an example to us all; Mary’s story is easy to get caught up in.

But this year Joseph captured my attention, in Joseph I see attitudes and behaviors that I would like to see more of in myself; I’m convinced that if all Christians were a little more like Joseph the world would be a better place. Today I’m going to share with you the three things I gleaned about authentic righteousness from the most overlooked member of the Christmas story…

The first thing that struck me about Joseph is that God considered him a righteous man; it was a fairly rare thing for God to declare someone righteous pre-resurrection of Jesus. Then the text says that because of his righteousness he did not want to divorce Mary publicly. It’s important to understand that at this point Mary and Joseph were legally wed, but the marriage had not been consummated and would not be for a full year after their betrothal.

 According to both Jewish and Roman law Joseph had every right to publicly divorce Mary. He had what appeared to be solid evidence of infidelity and her story about the angel would have pushed the boundaries of believability in Joseph’s mind. Any one of us would have excused Joseph for publically humiliating a woman who slept with another man and then told an outrageous story to cover-up her sin. Joseph’s gracious attitude teaches us that in God’s estimation righteous people go out of their way not to hurt others or behave in a vengeful way even when they have been legitimately wronged.

As I read through Matthew chapter two I was amazed by Joseph’s willingness to ignore the opinions of people in order to gain the approval of God.  After Joseph had the dream where he was instructed to keep Mary as his wife, he had to go back to his family and friends and tell them that he planned to go ahead with the marriage to the girl who I am sure most people were persuaded was a well, uhm not the nicest girl… You get my meaning.

 Keep in mind that this was a different time; the standards of behavior were much higher then than they are now. Today forty percent of all American children are born to unwed Mothers. That sort of monkey business simply did not happen in ancient Jewish communities. Most of his family and friends probably believed that Joseph was either a chump or a liar. I’m convinced that Joseph took a lot of guff for his decision to stick by Mary.  He did it because righteous people care more about pleasing God than people.

Joseph’s difficulties did not end there. He waited to consummate the marriage until after the baby was born; he spent the next couple of years on the run. Every time he and Mary would get comfortable somewhere he would have another dream telling him that Jesus was not safe and he and Mary and the baby would head out for a new location. It was like being in witness relocation for God instead of the government. Joseph’s selflessness reminds me that true righteousness involves inconvenience and self-denial. This piece of the Christmas story teaches us that God considers us honorable when we are willing to put other people and their needs first for the sake of the greater good.

Christmas is a time of joyful celebration and that’s okay because I am convinced that God is a lover of fun and celebration, most of the Old Testament Holy days were intended to be joyful celebrations of God’s goodness. The story of Christ’s birth and the celebration of Christmas should be a joyful reminder of God’s goodness to humanity in giving us His son who would become the Savior.

 My prayer this week for all of us is that Joseph’s story will be reminder that our response to God’s goodness should be a life of authentic righteousness. I pray that Joseph’s actions and attitudes would serve to teach us what a life of righteousness should look like.


He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? 
To act justly and to love mercy
 and to walk humbly with your God~ Micah 6:8 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Does Church Matter? Part two


There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all~ Ephesians 4:4-6

In my last post I shared my perspective on why Church matters. The gist of it is that we are saved not just into a relationship with Jesus but also into a collective who together make up the body and bride of Christ. God designed us in such a way that we need one another for direction, relationship, insight, growth, strength and correction.

 I believe that when Christians leave the body for any reason the body suffers a loss and the believer is left alone without the protection that numbers provide in a world that is increasingly hostile to our faith. When Christians live in isolation the Church loses a measure of its ability to act as a redemptive force in our world; our power to act as salt and light is weakened.

Christians are departing from the Church in alarming numbers. More often than not they are not heading to other churches; they are just leaving. Following are the top three reasons people give for leaving churches and some strategies people can employ to resolve their issues and become more content in their church…

The third most common reason for leaving church~ I’m not being fed!

As a Bible teacher this is the one that really gets me, because there are situations where it’s a valid concern. In an effort to reach the un-churched many leaders have gone to a seeker model for their services and as a result some (not all) Sunday morning sermons are long on self-esteem building twaddle and short on sound biblical teaching and good old-fashioned conviction.

The solution may not be to leave, but to look for alternative ways of getting fed within your Church. Some Christians want Sunday morning to be the spiritual equivalent of a quick stop at the zippy mart; where they fill up their spiritual gas tank, grab a couple of tasty morsels off the shelf, pay for their purchases and leave for the week. Spiritual growth doesn’t work like a zippy mart; it’s more like a really good home-cooked meal. It takes time and effort and is ultimately the responsibility of the person seeking the food.

Nearly every evangelical church has one (most have several) really good, in-depth Bible study available. You may have to get up a little earlier on Sunday morning or come back on Sunday night or a Wednesday to get it but it’s there. Ask around, find the person (they are probably older, and that’s a good thing) who’s teaching and get involved. As these classes fill up it will send a message to church leadership that people are hungry for a deeper level of teaching and may even facilitate some beneficial change in the sermons.  The bottom line: take responsibility for your own growth!

The second most common reason people give for leaving Church~ I’ve been hurt!

Okay, I don’t want be insensitive, but the one thing we can all count on in this life besides death and taxes is that we will all be hurt or hurt someone at some point. The answer is not to leave the Church but to work through your hurt, forgive and move on.

You work through hurt by first evaluating the situation maturely and deciding whether or not the situation needs confronting. If someone hurt you accidentally through carelessness or lack of consideration, you may just want to let the thing go. Not every hurt in life is worth addressing.

If the person has hurt you repetitively through thoughtlessness or calculated cruelty the situation needs to be addressed, for the sake of unity and health within the body using Matthew 18:14-16 as a model. If you confront and they acknowledge their sin and apologize, you have to forgive. Period. You let it go. No bringing it up again, no passive-aggressive guilt trips, it has to be over. If you find that you can’t I highly recommend John Bevere’s excellent book The Bait of Satan. It explains why forgiveness is critical and gives step-by-step Christ-centered help in the process.

I also want to caution you to be sensitive and prayerful if someone addresses an issue with you. Treat their concerns the way you would want your concerns treated and always be open to the truth that you may have hurt someone unintentionally.

The number one reason people leave Churches is….

I have no friends/I can’t build relationships! 

Unfortunately this complaint may have some validity; as churches grow to the size of small towns it can get harder to build real community and make friends. There are two possible solutions; the first should always be thoroughly tried before you move on to the second.

The first should begin with a self-check: are you genuinely friendly and approachable? Are you available or are you the last one there and the first to leave? Community takes effort and it all begins with being friendly and in the building.   If you pass the self-check the next thing is to look for smaller groups within the church. Small groups, Bible studies and Sunday school classes can be excellent places to build a small community within a really big church.  Step outside of your comfort zone and look for people who look lonely, strike up a conversation, invite them to coffee and see if they would like to try a small group with you. When you get into the group become intentional about building relationships, invite people into your home; take an interest in their families and lives. If after really trying you find you still can’t make friends move on to plan B.

Plan B is to look for a smaller church. This is a drastic step and should be taken prayerfully, but community is fundamental to the Christian experience and if you aren’t getting it, something needs to be done.

There are a lot of positives to the smaller church experience: the accountability can be a little scary at first but it is also potentially life changing, you will actually know the Pastor and feel like a vital member of a community. There will be trade-offs, like smaller youth groups, less elaborate children’s programs, and the musical quality may not be what you are used to. But who knows? Maybe you are being called to that smaller body for the purpose of helping build those programs. After all we are saved to serve.

When Barnabas arrived and saw the evidence of the grace of God, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts. He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith, and a great number of people were brought to the Lord~ Acts 11:23-24Does