When
the Jews saw the crowds, they were filled with jealousy. They began to contradict what Paul was saying and heaped
abuse on him~ Acts 13:45
A few years ago, I was at a seminar with some other ladies
from our church when a woman about my age walked into the conference room. I observed immediately that was that she was
pretty and well put together. She was tall and thin, with cute clothes, shiny
hair, smooth skin and a warm smile. She confidently approached our group and
introduced herself. Within minutes it became apparent that she was not only
gorgeous with great taste in clothes, but bright and articulate as well.
She was well spoken but did not dominate the discussion. She
asked everyone in our group questions about themselves and then listened intently
to the answers. One of the woman in our group inquired about her husband and
kids and she graciously showed us some photos of her extraordinarily attractive
husband and perfect little boy and girl.
She shared a bit about her ministry activities and her reasons
for attending the seminar. She discussed briefly how she planned to use what
she was learning to start a ministry in her local church that would bless the
community. All in all, the woman I met that day was gracious, attractive, thoughtful
and engaged in the world around her.
And for one brief moment that I am not proud of at all, I
loathed her. I mean I really loathed her. Not only did I loathe her, I brutally
judged her.
In only a few minutes,
I became smugly certain that there was absolutely no way that woman could
possibly be the real deal. She must have a raging eating disorder, be a horrible
Mother, a gossip, a liar, or a terrible friend. There had to be SOMETHING wrong
with her. There was simply no way on Earth anyone could possibly be that
beautiful, that thin, that kind and be blessed with that cute of a husband
without having some sort of a dreadful and loathsome dark side.
Just as I was preparing to share my opinion with the others
in our group, the truth and a whole load of conviction hit me all at once like
a ton bricks. Pious, Jesus loving, church going, Bible-study leading, little
old me was firmly in the grip of the foulest and most treacherous of all
emotions.
I was jealous.
Proverbs 27:4 makes this observation concerning jealousy:
Wrath
is fierce and anger is a flood. But who can stand before jealousy?
The self-deceptive nature of
jealousy makes it infinitely more dangerous than anger or wrath. Jealousy is
the original gateway sin. If left unchecked, it becomes a frontrunner to all
sorts of other sins because jealousy convinces us that the anger and wrath we
feel are justified. Jealousy dupes us into believing that the innocent person
on the receiving end of our bad behavior is somehow deserving of our actions.
At the root of jealousy is typically
one of two things. The first is a lack of contentment with our own
circumstances. Jealousy gains a foothold in our hearts because we focus far too
much of our attention on what other people have rather than what God has
blessed us with.
Our misdirected attention inevitably
leads to resentment and lack of gratitude as well as jealousy. Such was my
experience at the conference. I became so fixated on what that other woman
looked like and what God had blessed her with that I forgot all about all about
the abundance of good things in my own life. My willful amnesia was followed by
a shocking lack of gratitude for everything God has done for me.
Another issue at the root of
jealousy is a lack of faith. Jealousy overwhelms us when we doubt God’s ability
to work with what He has given us. We forget that God gifted each one of us our
own set of abilities, or we decide that that those gifts are not good enough to
do anything significant with. Either way, it’s a terrible sin and the birth of a
jealous spirit.
We will never do anything out of
jealousy that we will feel proud of. For that reason it should be avoided at
all cost. The key to avoiding jealousy is to take our focus off ourselves and
other people and keep focus on God and the good things He’s given us. When our
eyes are on God and our focus is on our own unique set of blessings, we cannot
help but be a blessing to the rest of the world.
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