This is the message we have
heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at
all. If we claim to have
fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out
the truth~ 1st John 1:4-6 NIV
Not long ago, I sat in the Sunday morning
church service, far less tuned into the sermon than I should have been. The
previous week had been a killer and the next one was looking like it could be
every bit as nerve-wracking. I was busy pondering survival strategies for the coming
week.
I
might have been inclined to pay more careful attention if the sermon had been
about something other than forgiveness. It’s not that I’ve never grappled with
an unforgiving spirit. I have, more times than I care to admit.
However, right at that moment there was no
one I needed to forgive. So, rightly or wrongly I felt entitled to check out a
little bit.
And
then my Pastor, Jerry Trewern said something so insightful and thought
provoking that it broke through my self-absorbed musings, and caused my
imagination to run wild.
Three little words…
Unforgiveness is
unforgiving.
The inside of my head can be a rather
peculiar place and something about his statement caused me think about the topic
of unforgiveness in a whole new way.
I have always viewed forgiveness as simply
a choice that we make. A hard choice at times—still, only a choice. That
morning I imagined unforgiveness as a living, breathing sentient being; a
tyrannical, oppressive, puppet master that holds people captive to its will.
I haven’t been able to get that picture
out of my head.
Unforgiveness is unforgiving, relentless and brutal. Unforgiveness is the
fertile ground that sows seeds of bitterness and even hate. Once unforgiveness
is permitted a foothold, it has a tendency to take over and negatively color the
way we see everything and everyone. It inadvertently determines how we treat
people, including those who aren’t responsible for causing us pain.
Forgiveness is more than just a choice we make;
ultimately it’s a choice that makes us.
An unforgiving spirit becomes a cage
holding us captive to bad experiences, effectively tethering our hearts to the
past. Bondage to past trauma or hurt makes it nearly impossible to move forward
emotionally or spiritually and ultimately entices us to sin in other areas of
our lives.
We know we are being held hostage by the
evil taskmaster of unforgiveness when…
We spend way too much time
thinking about the people who have wronged us
We habitually fantasize
about vengeance
We have a tough time
believing the best in people
We have a hard time imagining
that God is for us
We tend to view forgiveness as a gift we
choose to give God views forgiveness as a prerequisite for growth, blessing and
freedom.
Abolishing the evil puppet master begins
with the recognition that we are all unworthy recipients of God’s grace and
mercy. In order to forgive others we have to grasp the reality that our sins
against God are at least as great as any sin that has been committed against
us. This awareness gives us the incentive we need to become givers as well as
receivers of grace and mercy.
The next step is to release the debt. Let
it go and move on. Forget about it to the best of your ability. Give up the
right to exact revenge. Letting go is never easy because it goes against the
grain of our fallen human nature. Expect it to be a process that takes time.
It does not matter whether or not the
person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. They probably don’t. Forgiveness
is not about them; it’s about you.
It’s about you being free.
Free
from bitterness, free from hatred, free from negative thoughts and feelings
that consume your time, energy and spiritual strength.
When we are finally free from the oppressive
fiend of unforgiveness we are free to be what God intended us to be: a source
of refreshment and blessing for others.
For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us
into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the
forgiveness of sins~ 1st Colossians 1:13-14
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