The Hazards of Presumed Judgment

Don’t accuse anyone without reason, when they haven’t harmed you~ Proverbs 3:30 CEB

 Recently, I did something foolish. It wasn’t the first or most foolish thing I’ve ever done, but it was a biggie. My folly ruined a perfectly good morning and could have ended a treasured relationship.

It all started out innocently enough. I was spending a Saturday morning with a small group that included a few close friends as well as some causal acquaintances.

I sat relaxing in the Arizona sunshine enjoying a lovely cup of coffee, and as I listened quietly to the conversation, someone whom I consider to be a close friend expounded on a personal pet peeve of hers. Because her pet peeve is something I do on occasion I immediately assumed that she was attempting to send me a message. The coffee suddenly tasted like mud and my thoughts turned ugly. My less-than-Christlike musings went something like this:

Are you kidding me?

If she wanted to talk to me about that she should have just done it!

She’s judging me!

In front of people I barely know!

Has this woman ever actually read Matthew 7:1?

Thankfully I had just enough good sense and social decency to keep my big mouth shut until I had time to process my feelings. It wasn’t until the next week when I talked it all out with my friend (who had no idea she had hurt me) that I realized what I had done.

I had presumed judgment.

We presume judgment when we choose to believe that we know how someone feels about our current behavior or past choices.  Assuming judgment can easily morph into paranoia and distrust because we nearly always assume that people are judging us harshly.

As I was processing my foolishness, it occurred to me that planting seeds of presumptive judgment is one of Satan’s most cunning tactics. The body of Christ is adversely affected by presumptive judgment in at least four ways.

Presumed Judgment is divisive~ 1^st Corinthians 12:25-26

  Presuming judgment without evidence is one of the most divisive behaviors that can occur within the body of Christ. When we assume that a Christian brother or sister is judging us we tend to withdraw from relationships—not just with that Christian but also from any Christian who we fear might feel the same way. Our self-imposed isolation creates the perfect environment for bitterness and other forms of dysfunction to take root and wreck havoc on our lives and the lives of those we love.

Presumed judgment produces pockets of dysfunction within the body of Christ~ Proverbs 13:20

I have observed that individuals who feel judged by others tend to gravitate almost exclusively towards folks who struggle with the exact same junk they struggle with. When unhealthy people clump together, the chances of anyone in the clump getting healthy are marginal at best. There is nothing wrong with having a friend who can relate to our past experiences but too many of this type of friend can become a crutch that prevents growth. It is impossible to learn new patterns from people who are stuck in the same ones we are stuck in. In order to grow past unhealthy patterns of thinking and behavior, we must cultivate meaningful friendships with people who are different from us.

Presumed judgment gives the devil a foothold~ Ephesians 4:26-27, Proverbs 19:11, 1^st Samuel 16:7 

Presumed judgment is a sin. It’s sinful because when we presume judgment, we are placing ourselves in the position of God and smugly assuming that we know things about other people’s hearts that only He could possibly know. As with most sins, presumed judgment has the potential to lead us down a path of greater and greater disobedience. When we are hurt we tend to share our hurt with others, which is gossip. Gossip leads to division and division leads inevitably to anger, bitterness and separation. As we isolate ourselves, our hearts grow hard towards God and people. When that happens the devil has scored a major victory.

Presumed judgment prevents us from looking inward~ 2^nd Corinthians 13:5

One of the lessons I learned from my recent experience is that my sense I was being judged had everything to do with me and very little to do with my friend being judgmental. I was using presumed judgment as a handy excuse to avoid looking inward at my own junk. The belief that we are being judged is oftentimes a sign that we need to do some self-examination.  It may be that God has forgiven us for something but we have failed to forgive ourselves, or we have asked for forgiveness for sin yet failed to repent. Sometimes the sense we are being judged is more about our own uncertainty or guilt regarding choices or lifestyle. Intense sensitivity to the judgment of others is a strong indicator that we have some emotional or spiritual work to do.

 There are judgmental people in this world, but their numbers are probably far smaller than we believe. When we are judged unfairly (and we will be sometimes) it’s vital to remember that the judgment of man is irrelevant; it’s God we should be worrying about. God has made clear in His Word that nothing that happens on planet earth goes unnoticed; those who judge unjustly will give an account to Him for their actions (Hebrews 4:13).

Presumed judgment steals our joy, destroys relationships, and divides the body of Christ. Because presuming judgment is so detrimental to our spiritual wellbeing, we must end the insanity. We do that by giving people the benefit of the doubt, looking for the good in others, discussing our perceptions rationally when we feel someone is treating us unfairly and praying fervently for the people who judge others unfairly.   

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things~ Philippians 4:8 NIV