Make 2013 a Do-over

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! ~ Isaiah 43:18

I have a brother who is two years younger than I am. When we were kids we were really close. Like most siblings with a tight bond we had a system of rules known only to us that governed our play. Some of the rules were simple and unspoken: for example, either of us could declare a competition at any time  (like a race or an eating contest) and the other had to comply with the request. If for whatever reason the challenged sibling refused to compete the one who declared the contest could retaliate by pouting, hitting, or declaring the other a scaredy-cat without being told on.

Some of the rules were more complex and were verbally hashed out, like the rules for a do-over. A do-over was a new beginning to whatever activity we were in the middle of (usually a contest of some sort). When one of us felt that we had messed up and the activity wasn’t going well for us we could declare a “do-over”. Do-overs could be called at anytime but there were rules that had to be obeyed. The rules were:

Everybody was even if a do-over was called.

Cheating automatically canceled out do-overs.  

You could call the sibling who declared the do-over a baby and they just had to deal with it.

The do-over had to be called in the first half of the game for it to count (there were some vicious fights over this one).

Only one do-over allowed per game.

If all the above rules were followed then the do-over had to be honored. It was a matter of decency. Refusing to honor a do-over was the unpardonable sin of our sibling relationship and always resulted in a fight (usually a really nasty one).

Although I was the oldest I was also the smaller of the two of us. So I felt I was at a disadvantage when we played a game that involved a physical challenge—which was often because we were both freakishly competitive.  So I was a big fan of do-overs. I still am, mostly because I end up needing a lot of them.  Because of my love of do-overs January is my favorite month of the whole year. It always feels like a fresh start and much needed chance at a do-over.   

We all need do-overs from time-to-time and not just because we are losing an arm wrestling match or a game of Monopoly. There are two areas of life where I find most people (including myself) need a do-over from time-to-time.

The first is: things we are painfully aware of and probably feel guilty about but we haven’t worked up the get-up-and-go to get them done yet.  These are rarely life changing or life controlling issues. It’s usually just petty stuff that we’ve avoided dealing with or haven’t gotten around to yet. If we did we would feel better about our lives and/or our environment.

It could be becoming more organized or planning better, getting your finances in order or writing a will. For me it’s boxes. I have several boxes of weird, random stuff from our move that I have allowed to become pieces of furniture. It’s stuff I want to keep but I don’t know what to with it so I let the boxes become a permanent fixture in my home. I need to deal with those boxes because every time I look at them I feel like my life is cluttered and messy. It’s not but I feel like it is every time I stub my toe on one of those stupid boxes.

 God wants us to have a do-over with the small things in our lives because when we deal with the small stuff we feel better about our lives and gain the confidence to tackle bigger issues. The answer to dealing with small stuff is really just as simple as getting busy. Ask God for help and/or a friend to hold you accountable if you need to. But success is really just about setting goals, over-coming the tendency towards inertia that we all have and getting things done.

The other type of do-over is much bigger and a lot harder to deal with; it’s the tough stuff. The issues that never seem to go away; it might be getting emotionally or physically healthy, becoming a better parent, repairing a broken relationship, dealing with a substance abuse problem or finally getting right with God. We tend to approach these as resolutions. Every year we grit our teeth and resolve to do better and feel like miserable losers when we fail. The good news is twofold. First, God loves you even when you fail. Second, He does not expect you to fix it on your own.

These types of do-overs involve more than simply gritting our teeth and getting it done. You have to decide you really want to change and then discover how and why you got off track in the first place. This is done through self-examination to figure out why you do the sinful things you do. This requires prayerful introspection and may involve the help of a trusted friend, Pastor or therapist to figure it out, and you have to actually begin the process of change. That is where God comes in. Ask Him for help and keep asking Him until you see change. Change will come but it’s important to remember that the longer something has been a mess the longer it takes to fix it. God will walk you through it.

 I believe with all of my being that God is the originator of the whole concept of do-overs. He allows us a fresh start anytime we ask for one. No questions asked and no penalty for asking. It will take some determination on our part but if we put in the work God will bless our efforts.  The best thing about God’s do-overs is that unlike the do-overs of my childhood there are no other rules. God freely gives you a second chance to get things right, and He won’t call you a baby for asking either.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest~ Matthew 11:28