Promises, Promises

It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it~ Ecclesiastes 5:5

My years on Earth have convinced me that from time to time the Almighty looks down from heaven, decides that life has become far too predictable and relaxed for us, and concludes it’s time to stir things up a bit.

The occasional stirring-up is not necessarily a bad thing. Unforeseen changes and challenges keep us on our knees and can become (if we allow them to) the stimulus that enables us to understand and seek God on a much deeper level.

It’s become increasingly obvious that God thinks my family could use a little stirring up. We’ve experienced some crazy-big changes and challenges in recent weeks.  

By far the most dramatic and life-impacting change has been the addition of a new family member. Nine-year-old Zoey entered our home a few weeks ago and has brought an exciting new dynamic since day one of her arrival.

It’s been a while since we parented such a young child. We have felt a little inadequate as we relearn the finer points of parenting nine-year-old girls. The learning curve has been sharp at times.

The past few days have caused us to remember things we had nearly forgotten about parenting younger children. These include….

There can be ugly consequences for failing to establish and stick to routines when dealing with children

Nine-year-old girls have a flair for the theatric; this aptitude increases as the day progresses. By bedtime they should win awards for their skills.

Young children have woefully unrefined and picky palates (seafood and spicy foods are out­­—macaroni and canned soup are in)

Nine-year-olds need a lot of assistance with basic problem solving  

Keeping promises is the key to good parenting

I had nearly forgotten what an incredible downer keeping the promises we make to kids can be. I am not a jerk, so I don’t have an issue with keeping all promises; just the promises that turn out to be personally unpleasant for me in some way.

 I’ve never had a problem with welching on a promised trip to the zoo or the guarantee of pizza for dinner. I relish keeping those types of promises. It’s the hard promises I hate making good on.

 The loss of a privilege as a consequence for bad behavior, or the promise of work in exchange for lost property, or an early bedtime for lack of obedience—those are the types of promises I detest keeping. I have a robust aversion to being the bad guy and keeping an unpleasant vow is the quickest, most efficient way to become the bad guy.

Having a young child in the house has forced me to take a hard look at my own tendency to dislike keeping any promise that may have an unpleasant outcome for me personally. I’ve discovered, to my dismay, that I can be a little bit like the prophet Jonah when it comes to keeping vows that turn out be unpleasant.

 When Jonah took on the title of prophet he knew that the title came with a commitment to do what God told him to do. No questions asked. Jonah was fine with that arrangement until he was told do something he really didn’t want to do. 

In Jonah’s case, keeping his promise meant taking the good news of God’s love to a race of people who had mistreated and abused his fellow countrymen in some pretty appalling ways. Jonah quickly discovered that he was no longer okay with the arrangement.

As soon as keeping his vow got tough, Jonah got going in the wrong direction. His disobedience landed him in the belly of a fish for three days of serious think-time. While there he had an epiphany regarding the keeping of vows. 

But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good~ Jonah 2:9 NIV

One of the hard realities I’ve faced in recent days is the fact that when we take on the title of Christian we make the commitment to do what God tells us to do. No questions asked. One of the things that God tells us to do is to make good on the hard promises, commitments and vows that we’ve made.

 Our communities, churches and families are suffering because of a failure of people to make good on the vows and commitments that have been made. Maybe it’s time for all of us to do as Jonah eventually did and make good on the hard promises we’ve made. God’s blessing is sure to follow.  

I am under vows to you, my God; I will present my thank offerings to you~ Psalm 56:12