When I was a child, I talked
like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a
man, I put childish ways behind
me~ 1 Corinthians 13:11
Like most young men his age, my son has
struggled with a crisis of maturity. Unlike most young men, my son’s crisis has
centered on just one subject: trick-or-treating.
Please don’t judge us that we let our kids
trick-or-treat. I know that it’s a controversial subject in Christian circles
and we aren’t heathens; in fact it’s something my husband and I discussed at
length when the kids were younger. We finally decided to go ahead and let the
kids trick-or-treat for two reasons: first, we saw it as an opportunity to
engage our neighbors on a social level (my reason). Second, it felt like we
were stealing candy from the devil and it felt good (my husband’s reason).
Back to my son. Even though we let the
kids trick or treat we felt there should be an age limit on it. If you have a
driver’s license and/or facial hair, it’s time to call it quits. We began
easing our kids into the reality that trick-or-treating would not last forever
around middle school when we began to gently suggest that it was time to start
thinking about voluntarily giving it up.
Alex completely ignored our gentle suggestions,
so when he was a freshman we laid down the law and informed him that it was his
last year. He complied but still found some creative ways around our edict. He
took his little sister and her friends to “watch out for them” and would go as
an observer with his younger friends whenever he got a chance.
I think that for Alex his love of trick or
treating was less about the candy and more about the experience. He has a
gregarious and fun-loving personality that was made for experiences like going
door-to-door asking complete strangers for candy. This year he figured out how
to put a new spin on trick or treating: he took an old door and put a sign on
it that read “Please Knock,” and then he and his friend Beau went around the neighborhood
handing out candy to anyone who would knock on the door. Needless to say it was
a big hit; the neighbors are still talking about it.
His antics got me thinking that some of us
(including myself) could learn something from my son and his friend about the
importance of finding mature and creative ways to turn things around and give
instead of get. I say this because I
fear that in general we are becoming a self-centered nation. Not in the big
things; when a natural disaster strikes or a tragedy takes place everybody
jumps in to offer support and care.
It’s the little things that concern me,
like the way we drive, our concern (or lack of concern) for the financial and
environmental health and well being of future generations, the way we speak to
one another and treat those with whom we disagree. I find our lack of kindness
and civility troubling because just as kindness is contagious rudeness and
cruelty tend to be as well.
God’s word is full of instruction on how
to become a better person. Here are three examples of God’s wisdom…
1.
Offer
hospitality to one another
without grumbling~ 1st Peter 4:9
2.
Make
sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each
other and everyone else~ 1st Thessalonians 4:15
3.
Do
not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart
rejoice~ Proverbs 24:17
None of these three commands are difficult
to obey, but neither are they easy because even as believers all three war
against our flesh. Our sinful nature affects us in such a way that we want to
distance ourselves from people we don’t already like or know. And let’s be honest: revenge feels good,
kindness is hard work and mocking a disgraced enemy is crazy fun.
The consequences for giving into our
fleshly desires are huge: when we isolate ourselves we forfeit blessings
(Hebrews 13:2). Seeking revenge instead
of reconciliation twists our character and leads to greater evil and, well, God
makes it pretty clear how He feels about making fun of those who have wronged
us in Proverbs 24:17-18:
Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not
let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from him [your enemy].
As I watched my son and his friend this
past Halloween I realized that he had turned an important corner on his road to
adulthood. Alex is learning the valuable truth that maturity is not just about
giving up childish behavior; it’s about replacing it with good deeds and
concern for others.
My goal this year is not just to avoid
saying or doing anything bad but also to be actively good. I want to be more
than just courteous; I want to enlarge my circle of friends by welcoming strangers
into my home and life. I want to learn to pray for the guy with whom I disagree
politically. I want to show kindness and compassion even to people who have
wronged me. I suspect that if all Christ-followers would do the same we would
see real and profound change in each of our world.
Love is patient, love is
kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth. It
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres~ 1st
Corinthians 13:4-7
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