Discovering the Truth About Generational Curses

This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life~ Deuteronomy 30:19-20a

The subject of generational blessings and curses has fascinated me for years, mostly because you could argue that my family has a long and ugly history of bad choices and generational curses.

 According to our unofficial family historian there has been a long and sordid history of, among other less showy sins, anger, alcohol abuse and foolishness in our ancestry and yes, I believe that folly is a curse (more on that later).  According to my Aunt (the historian) the exploits and alcohol-induced antics of my great-Grandfather were well known to the point of being legendary, and not in a good way. I have never met my great-grandfather but if the conduct of his progenies is any indicator I can assume that the stories are all true.

Many people find the concept of generational curses disturbing, because they misunderstand the concept. They erroneously believe that a generational curse takes root in a family because God looks down from heaven and randomly chooses to curse a family line with a specific form of depravity. Nothing could be further from the truth. In Deuteronomy 30:11-20 the concept of curses is presented as choices. The choices we make determine whether or not we, as well as our descendants live in blessings or curses.

   

God does not “curse” us; we curse ourselves with every act of rebellion against God. We then pass on those curses to future generations in the form of sinful habits and patterns that are so much a part of our family line that at times we fail to recognize them as sin. Every generational curse begins with a series of choices made by an individual. 

The choice to habitually lie may yield a line of liars. The social sciences have proven that abusive Fathers tend to produce abusive sons. Adulterous parents more often than not have adult children who struggle with infidelity. Having an alcoholic parent increases the probability you will be drawn to alcohol or drugs.  Thieves generally beget thieves, and foolish parents usually pass on their proclivity toward stupid choices to future generations.

It’s not just the “big stuff” like alcoholism and abuse that gets passed on to future generations. Wrong attitudes and sinful perspectives like rage, jealousy, rebellion, persistent negativity, greed, arrogance, racism, pride, elitism, and laziness are mindsets that come from the heart and are every bit as destructive and dangerous as adultery or substance use.

The eighteenth chapter of Ezekiel makes it clear that God does not hold us accountable for sins that we did not commit. But generational sin is such that we will consciously or unconsciously continue to walk in the sins of our forefathers and mothers unless we take deliberate steps to break free of their choices. Simply becoming a Christian does not automatically free of us of the inclination towards certain sins. I have been a believer for twenty-five years and I have recently become aware of a deeply ingrained attitude that was passed down from my Father that is affecting me today. The sin is manifesting itself differently in my life than it has in my Dad’s but it’s the exact same sin.

 You don’t have to do a lengthy ancestral search in order to spot generational sin. Just take a look at your generation and the generation of your parents and you will likely see the junk your family has struggled with for centuries.

Being a Christian does not instantly free us from generational junk but it does give us the tools we need to change. We have to be willing to use the tools available to us and do the hard work needed to make change happen.   Breaking free of generational sin involves making a series of choices that include the choices to…

  Follow God wholeheartedly~ Hebrews 10:22-23, Jeremiah 29:13

Many make commitments to Christ and find that it makes little difference in their day-to-day experience. They struggle with the same junk after becoming Christians as they did before becoming Christians. They determine that Christianity doesn’t “work” and go right back to whatever life they lived before. I have counseled many such people and generally I have found that their “commitment” to Christ and the Christian lifestyle was really just a short-term, half-hearted trial period. They wanted God to change their lives without giving up sinful habits and behaviors. If you want God to work in your life you have to give Him all of you, all the time, forever. God is God and He knows when we are serious and He knows when we are playing with Him (see Galatians 6:6-8). He empowers us when we are serious.

Acknowledge the sins of the past and take steps to avoid becoming entangled in them~ Jeremiah 14:20, Psalm 32:5, Hebrews 12:1

Some people call this “renouncing generational sin,” but it doesn’t really matter what you call it as long as you do it. Renouncing generational sin does not require making a public event of your commitment. A simple heart felt pledge to God is enough. Generational change is extremely difficult and it will not come about without a deep commitment to change. Commitment is the starting place but action is required if you want real transformation. Make a plan, stick to it, ask God for wisdom, warn your children as often as necessary about the dangers of entangling themselves in particular behaviors, be intentional in the way you live.

Forgive your parents for their failings~ Colossians 3:13

I am aware that I could be stepping onto an emotional landmine here; there are some parents who have done some pretty horrendous things and I KNOW that forgiveness is difficult and even painful. That said, I have observed that the people who have successfully freed themselves from generational sin are the ones who have forgiven their families. There is something about harboring a grudge that almost ensures we will repeat the mistakes of the person we stay angry with (or make worse ones). Forgiveness frees us up to live the lives God intended us to live. If you need help with this I suggest you talk to a trusted friend, Pastor, or Christian counselor sooner rather than later. It’s that important. 

Be aware of your weaknesses ~ Lamentations 3:40, 2^nd Corinthians 13:5

Self-knowledge is the most important weapon we have in our war against sin in general, and generational sin in particular. Because we are at our core a fallen people it is essential that we examine our behaviors and motives on a regular basis looking for inconsistencies and patterns that could lead us back to the sins that feel familiar to us. Often, we fool ourselves into believing that we are doing things differently when all we’ve really done is put a new spin on the sins of our parents and named it change. For example: if you had a parent who was extremely passive (as I did) you may find that you use anger to cover up your lack of action i.e. you yell at people instead of taking active steps to change situations you don’t like. Yelling looks and feels like action but its really just more sin. If your parents had a substance abuse problem you will most likely be tempted to find an “escape” to stress instead of actually dealing with the stuff that stresses you out. Many adult children will shun their parents’ mode of escape and create a new one that is equally bad; e.g. you escape reality using video games, porn, TV, food, or the Internet instead of alcohol, marijuana or other drugs.

 Our culture has propagated a lie, and many within the Church have bought into it as well. It’s the narrative that we can do what we want, say what we want, and live any way we want and no one will be affected by our choices but us. That lie is destroying our culture, our churches and our families. The Bible teaches that people are interconnected and that the choices we make and the behaviors we embrace have a ripple effect on those around us and those who will come after us.

Recently I was asked if I believed in the concept of generational curses, I do, I also believe in the concept of generational blessing. I also believe with all of my heart that God gives Christians the freedom to choose which they will walk in. 

With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him~ Ephesians 4:17-18 NLT